The Power of Control: A Personal Reflection on Performance and Engagement

Looking back across the decades of my professional journey, if I were to isolate the single most effective factor that enhanced my performance—it would be this: having a sense of control over my work. Not titles. Not perks. Not even compensation.

This isn’t just a personal observation, it’s backed by research in psychology and organizational behavior. In the words of Daniel Pink, bestselling author of 'Drive,'

"Autonomy—the desire to direct our own lives—is one of the three essential elements of true motivation, along with mastery and purpose."

When I worked in organizations that empowered me with the authority to solve problems, take decisions, and design my own path to results, I felt deeply connected to my work. I wasn’t just working in the system, I was working on it. I owned outcomes. I took pride in every success, and responsibility for every setback. It was in these roles that I delivered my best performance.

In stark contrast, I’ve also experienced the other end of the spectrum: years in an organization where, despite being accountable for results, I had no real control over the process. Every step needed approval. Every idea faced resistance. Over time, enthusiasm gave way to resignation. As Stephen Covey said in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

“Accountability without control is not empowerment—it’s abuse.”

It taught me a critical leadership lesson: when you remove control from capable hands, you don’t just stifle creativity but dilute commitment. People disengage not because they lack competence, but because they lack ownership.

This aligns with what Edward Deci, a pioneer of Self-Determination Theory, wrote:

“When people are controlled, they tend to lose initiative and become alienated; when autonomous, they experience ownership and responsibility.”

In today’s fast-changing business world, building a culture of self-leadership is not optional—it’s essential. Leadership must go beyond traditional command-and-control models and adopt what I call a "trust-and-empower" framework.

Give people the tools. Give them clarity. Then give them control.

“Control is not about micromanaging people. It’s about giving them the freedom to take charge and the confidence that you trust their judgment.” – Anonymous

When leaders delegate authority with intention, magic happens. Engagement soars. Innovation flourishes. Teams become resilient, not just compliant.

Give them the Power of Control and watch the wonders unfold. I’ve lived it, and I can tell you this much: when people feel truly in control of their work, they don’t just perform better—they transform the workplace.

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Corporate Boss: A Nightmare?

Having spent 15 years in job with Corporate India, before becoming an entrepreneur, and few years with an extremely insecure and difficult boss to deal with, let me tell you that it demands a lot of courage and maturity to tolerate a continuous bombardment of both decent and indecent abuses and subtle insults directed from the opposite side.

This article is based on my own experiences, while working with one of the largest Indian corporations during early nineties. 

My boss was a science graduate and was insecured about a qualified engineer directly reporting to him. And also that of many others, who have been sharing with me their own sufferings.

Every evening I would return home soaked with insults and abuse and vowed to resign the next day. I couldn't. Because, I had to take care of my family. Self-respect surrendered to the reality of life. That was the time when I had decided to be an entrepreneur and it took 9 long years to materialise.

Dealing with an insecured and difficult boss can be a challenging and draining experience. I know it, because I had lived that experience and frankly speaking when I remember those years now, I just tell myself: What the 'F' was that?

Many employees find themselves in a situation where they have to navigate the delicate balance of maintaining a professional relationship, while also protecting their own well-being. 

It is important to approach the situation with a strategic mindset and utilize a variety of tactics to effectively handle a difficult boss.

One of the key aspects of managing a difficult boss is to maintain open and clear communication. 

It is crucial to address any issues or concerns directly with your boss in a respectful and professional manner. 

By expressing your thoughts and feelings in a constructive way, you can potentially resolve misunderstandings and prevent further conflicts from arising. 

Additionally, it is important to actively listen to your boss’s perspective and try to understand their point of view. This can help foster a sense of empathy and mutual respect in the relationship.

Another important aspect of handling a difficult boss is to set boundaries and manage expectations. 

It is essential to establish clear boundaries in terms of work responsibilities, communication protocols, and personal space. 

By clearly defining your role and expectations, you can avoid potential misunderstandings and minimize conflicts. 

Also, it is important to manage expectations by setting realistic goals and deadlines. This can help alleviate stress and pressure in the workplace, leading to a more harmonious and productive work environment.

Furthermore, it is important to practice self-care and prioritize your well-being when dealing with a difficult boss. 

It is crucial to take care of your physical and mental health by getting enough rest, exercise, and relaxation. By practicing self-care, you can build resilience and cope with the challenges posed by a difficult boss. 

In addition, it is important to seek support from friends, family, or colleagues who can offer guidance and advice. Having a supportive network can provide emotional strength and validation during difficult times.

Innovatively, one can also consider using mindfulness techniques to navigate the complex dynamics of a difficult boss. 

Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and cultivating awareness of one’s thoughts and emotions. By practicing mindfulness, you can develop a sense of calmness and clarity, which can help you respond to challenging situations with composure and grace. 

To add further, mindfulness can help cultivate empathy and compassion towards your boss, which can deepen your understanding of their behavior and motivations.

In conclusion, handling a difficult boss requires a strategic approach that integrates open communication, boundary-setting, expectation management, self-care, and mindfulness. 

By utilizing these different aspects, you can effectively navigate the challenges posed by a difficult boss and maintain a sense of professionalism and well-being in the workplace. 

Remember that you are not alone in facing a difficult boss, and it is important to seek support and guidance when needed. 

By employing a variety of tactics and approaches, you can effectively manage the complexities of a difficult boss and thrive in your professional career

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Sense Of Purpose In Life: An Inner Compass

A sense of purpose is not just a lofty ideal; it is the quiet compass that gives direction to our journey through life. It fuels our motivation, sustains us through challenges, and infuses our daily actions with meaning. Purpose transforms existence into experience and routine into ritual. It helps us answer the deeper questions: Why am I here? What is my life meant to contribute?

At the heart of it, purpose is the soul’s yearning to participate in something greater than the self.

Many great thinkers, philosophers, and spiritual leaders have spoken about this deep inner drive:

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate... to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” — Buddha

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” — Viktor E. Frankl

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that... Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” — Howard Thurman

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” — John F. Kennedy

There is a deeper, spiritual dimension to this idea. Beyond ambition, goals, and even passion, lies the truth that we are not just bodies with minds—we are souls. And the soul, they say, is immortal. It travels through lifetimes, evolving, experiencing, and learning, until it integrates fully with the Ultimate Soul—the Source.

This life, this moment, this current station on your journey is not random. You are here now for a reason.

But how do we uncover that reason?

Mark Twain asked the question point blank: Why were you born? And even more piercingly—What for?

These aren’t questions that yield answers in a rush. They ask us to slow down. To get quiet. To look inward.

On a quiet day, when the noise of the world dims and your to-do list loosens its grip on your mind, find a moment for yourself. No screens, no distractions. Just you and your breath.

Sit in silence. Close your eyes. Let your thoughts drift by like clouds in the sky. Give yourself permission to just be. Then, when your mind is calm, ask:

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?
• What is my purpose in this phase of life?

Don’t strain for answers. Just listen. Feel. Notice what stirs within. Sometimes, the answers come as a feeling. Sometimes as a memory. Sometimes as a subtle whisper.

You might not get clarity in one sitting—but something will shift. Something deep inside will awaken and begin to guide you.

It’s important to understand that purpose is not always grand or fixed. It can evolve. What feels purposeful at 20 might change at 40 or 60. In one season of life, your purpose might be to care for a loved one. In another, to create. In yet another, to heal, teach, build, or serve.

Your purpose doesn’t have to make headlines. It only needs to make you feel alive. At peace. Aligned.

Purpose is not something you find like a buried treasure. It’s something you remember—and slowly uncover from within.

You are not here by accident. Your existence is meaningful. Your presence matters.

Feel free to share your thoughts or personal reflections in the comments—I’d love to hear what your soul says when you ask it: Why am I here?

Image by 巻（Maki） from Pixabay

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Lessons From Mother That Changed My Life!

"Mom, don’t leave me alone. Please! I’ll drown!" I cried out, panic rising in my chest as I clung to her hand in the middle of the pool.

That day, my mother decided it was time I learned how to swim. And she wasn’t going to ease me into it.

I was just a boy—seven or maybe eight years old—and terrified. Not just of water, but of the unknown.

This wasn’t a fancy, tiled pool like the ones we see today. Back then—several decades ago—some houses had large, pond-like pools. Ours was one of them. And that morning, it became my training ground and, as it turned out, the setting for some of the most powerful lessons of my life.

At first, she led me into waist-deep water, held my hand, and said gently, “Try to float.” I tried. Over and over. But each attempt ended the same way—me sinking and gasping, as she pulled me back up. I was frustrated and scared, and every part of me wanted to get out of that pool and never return.

But she wouldn’t let me quit.

Then, without warning, she grabbed the straps of my shorts and started swimming toward the center of the pool, dragging me along.

I panicked. “Mom! What are you doing?” I spluttered as water filled my mouth and nose. But she kept going.

Once we reached the middle of the pool, the deep end, she let go.

She looked at me in the eyes and said, “Son, from here on, you’re on your own. You have to swim.”

I couldn’t believe it. “Please don’t leave me!” I begged. “I’ll drown!”

She gave me a calm, reassuring smile. “No, you won’t. I’m right here. But now, you have to do this yourself.”

It felt like betrayal in the moment. How could she just leave me there, in the deep water, with nothing to hold on to?

I shouted one last plea: “What if I die?”

Swimming a few feet away, she replied softly, “You won’t. I’ll save you if you fail to float. But now it’s your turn.”

I had no choice. I kicked. I moved my arms. I tried to stay above water. It was messy and ungraceful, but something clicked. I didn’t drown. I swam.

It may have been just a few feet, but to me it felt like crossing an ocean. I made it to the edge of the pool, clung to the side, gasping for breath, but I had done it.

That day, I learned how to swim. But more importantly, I learned something deeper, something that my mother knew I was ready to understand:

1. Fear controls you if you let it.

2. Growth begins where comfort ends.

3. You have to fight your own battles.

She didn’t abandon me. She empowered me. She wasn’t being harsh. She was showing me that I was stronger than I believed.

Years later, if I find myself going back to that moment, whenever life throws me into deep waters -- when I’m scared, uncertain, or out of my depth -- I hear her voice, steady: “You won’t die. You just have to try.”

Image by hartono subagio from Pixabay

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Hope: The Engine Of Life

The foundation of our existence is hope. It is the invisible engine that keeps us moving toward our destination, even when the road ahead seems uncertain, lonely, or dark.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” — Desmond Tutu

Talk about perseverance, persistence, patience, anything that drives us forward. All of these are fueled by one thing: hope for a better future in every domain of life.

When hope vanishes, life begins to crumble. Without it, we are lost. When hope dies, something inside us dies too, maybe physically, maybe emotionally, or sometimes both. That’s why, even in the harshest storms, we must protect and nurture our hope.

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” — Christopher Reeve

Hope is not just a fleeting feeling. It is a positive cognitive state, rooted in a belief that we can shape our destiny, through free-will, through planning, and through consistent action. It’s the inner voice that says: “You can do this. Just one more step.”

Even when we feel trapped in a long, dark tunnel, hope is the light at the end. It whispers, “There’s more to come. Keep going.” 

And yet, hope alone is not enough.

To bring our hopes to life, we must take massive and determined action. We must move, not just wish. That combination of hope and hard work is what turns dreams into reality.

“Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.” — Samuel Smiles

Our goals may be material, or they may be spiritual. They may be simple or complex. But whatever they are, the formula remains the same: Hope + Action = Progress.

The purpose of this article is to reach out to anyone who has lost hope, or who is on the edge of surrendering to Destiny's Torture. Maybe life has been unfair. Maybe your silence has been too long and your suffering too deep. Maybe, like the man I once met whose pain went unheard, you’ve begun to think there's no way out. But, trust me, there is.

“Everything that is done in this world is done by hope.” — Martin Luther

Hope is not a luxury. It is a necessity. It is the first step toward healing, justice, freedom, and purpose. If you're struggling, let this be a reminder that you are not alone. You are not powerless. And your story isn’t over yet.

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” — Tom Bodett

Hope is the foundation of a meaningful life. Protect it. Fight for it. Live it.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

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How To Handle The Burden of Choices

This post is inspired by the following dialogues from a latest Netflix Web-series "The Better Sister:" "You bear the burden of your choices and you move on because sitting still will kill you."

Being an avid reader of printed books - for some reasons, I don't like digital reading - never, I had to regret that choice and that brings into limelight the importance choices we make through out our lives. 

There is no right or wrong choice at the time of making the decision about what's your choice. It depends on several factors, most of those are beyond our abilities to grasp the larger picture about the consequences of the same.

Bearing the burden of your own choices and still living happily is one of the most profound challenges—and also one of the most liberating achievements—in life. 

Here are my suggestions:

1. Accept Full Responsibility

Owning your choices gives you back your power. Don’t blame others, fate, or circumstances. You chose—and that means you can choose again. Say to yourself: "I made this decision, and I will deal with the consequences." Freedom begins where blame ends.

2. Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing Better

We all make choices with the wisdom we have at the time. You didn’t have perfect foresight, and that’s okay. Mistakes are part of becoming wiser, not proof of failure. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” — Maya Angelou

3. Find the Meaning in the Pain

Pain without purpose feels like punishment; pain with purpose fuels growth. What did this choice teach you about life, people, or yourself? Can this experience help someone else if you share it? Viktor Frankl said: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear almost any ‘how.’”

4. Turn Regret into Responsibility

Regret is just energy—redirect it toward something useful. You can’t undo the past, but you can shape what happens next. Use the lesson to make better choices moving forward. Don't let regret chain you to the past—let it be the compass that guides your future.

5. Redefine Happiness

If you tie happiness to “no mistakes,” you’ll never be happy. Happiness isn’t about perfection; it’s about peace with imperfection. It’s not about always choosing right—it’s about choosing to grow, regardless. Contentment comes when you stop punishing yourself for being human.

6. Practice Present-Minded Living

Dwelling on past choices keeps you trapped in a moment that no longer exists. Stay grounded in today. What can you do now? Let each small good decision be a way to redeem a bigger past one. “Yesterday is heavy. Put it down.”

7. Build a Life That Makes Peace With the Past

You don’t have to forget your choices—you just have to build something meaningful with them. Relationships, purpose-driven work, self-care—all these can become bricks in a new foundation.

You are not the sum of your choices—you are the sum of what you do with them.

Image by Kingrise from Pixabay

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Who Is The Controller Of Our Life?

In the 1980s, Benjamin Libet, a neuroscientist, designed a now-famous experiment. Here's how it worked:

1. Participants were hooked up to an EEG machine to monitor brain activity.

2. They were told to flex their wrist whenever they felt like it—with no pattern or external prompt.

3. Meanwhile, they watched a dot rotating on a clock face and were asked to remember its position at the moment they consciously decided to move.

What Libet found was stunning:

The EEG detected a spike in brain activity—called the readiness potential—up to 7 seconds before the participant reported the conscious decision to move.

This suggests the brain had already decided to act before the participant was aware of deciding.

What Does This Mean?

1. Your Conscious Mind Might Not Be the Boss

We like to think we make conscious decisions, but Libet’s study suggests our subconscious brain initiates actions before we become aware of them. Consciousness may just rationalize decisions after the fact.

2. Free Will Under Fire

If your brain "decides" before you're aware, is free will an illusion? Are you simply a witness to your brain’s impulses, governed by a force beyond our understanding?

Some philosophers and scientists argue that free will is more of a post-hoc narrative, constructed by the brain to maintain a coherent sense of self.

Later studies, using fMRI, have shown that researchers can predict a person’s decision (e.g., pressing a left or right button) up to 10 seconds before the person reports choosing. This pushes the limits even further.

The conclusion: You’re not the CEO of your brain—you’re more like a press secretary, explaining decisions made in the boardroom long before you entered.

Isn't it mind blowing? Does it mean that our decision making process, influencing life developments, is not within our control. Who is the controller then -- a trillion dollar question!!!

Photo by Rodolfo Clix

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Turn Your Pain Into Gain

Pains and agonies are an inevitable and integral part of life. Especially, emotional pains, which is multi-dimensional.

It's bound to invade our lives and we must have the courage and mental strength to endure the same.

"If you can sit with your pain, listen to your pain and respect your pain — in time you will move through your pain." ~ Bryant McGill.

From my personal experience, let me share a few words on this devastating development, which, if not handled carefully, may completely ruin our lives.

How to Handle Emotional Pains!!!

Emotional pain is invisible but heavy. It shows up as heartbreak, loss, disappointment—moments that leave us raw and aching. If you're going through something tough, here's a gentle reminder: you're not alone, and healing is possible.

Here are a few suggestions for handling emotional Pains successfully, even to our advantage.

1. Acknowledge It

Don’t bottle it up. Say how you feel in a journal atleast. I mean, writing a diary. Naming and acknowledging your pain is the first step toward healing.

...mental, emotional pain is like... like bathing in ice on the coldest day. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout.

2. Feel Without Shame

Crying and feeling overwhelmed: it’s all okay. You’re not weak for feeling deeply. You’re human. Your emotions are real.

"Crying is like a thundershower for the soul. The air feels so wonderful after the rain. Don’t think too much. Breathe. Don’t be harsh or demanding on yourself. Just experience your feelings and know that your tears are announcing change in your life. Change is coming; like a summer rain — to wash away your pain. Have faith that things are getting better." ~ Bryant McGill,

3. Look for the Lesson

Pain often shows us what matters, what needs to change, or what boundaries need reinforcing. Ask yourself: What is this trying to teach me? What lessons I can learn from the same.

Wounds can heal if you pull the thorns out,” she said. “For some, perhaps." ~ Jennifer Donnelly,

4. Heal in Small Ways

Drink water. Go for a walk. Talk kindly to yourself. Healing isn’t one big moment. It’s tiny acts of self-care repeated daily and for a long time.

"The best way to get scars to fade is to get cosier with your tomorrow." ~ Bhuwan Thapaliya

5. Lean on Someone

You don’t need to do it all alone. Even one supportive person makes a difference. If needed, seek help. Don't feel shy. Asking for help is, in fact, a sign of strength.

"Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal." ~Vironika Tugaleva

Emotional pain is hard, but it can lead to growth, clarity, and strength you didn’t know you had.

Turn your pain into gain with a strong positive mindset and fighting attitude.

Photo by Alin Luna

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The Four Fundamental Drivers Of Success

Success is not an accident—it’s the result of specific emotional and logical initiatives. Many believe that talent alone determines who rises to the top, but as Angela Duckworth highlights in her book "Grit," success is shaped by four key factors: Interest, Practice, Purpose, and Hope.

If you’re not actively developing these qualities, you’re setting yourself up for mediocrity. But if you’re willing to embrace the uncomfortable truths of success, you can unlock your true potential.

1. Interest: The Starting Point of All Achievement

Without genuine interest, persistence is impossible. Many people chase success in fields they don’t care about, only to burn out or give up. Interest fuels curiosity, and curiosity leads to mastery. If you’re in a leadership role—or aspiring to one—you need to ask yourself: Are you truly interested in what you do?

2. Practice: The Relentless Pursuit of Mastery

Success isn’t about occasional bursts of effort; it’s about sustained, deliberate practice. Duckworth emphasizes that great achievers—whether in business, sports, or academia—repeatedly refine their skills, pushing beyond their comfort zones. Leadership requires the same commitment to continuous improvement.

3. Purpose: The Driving Force Behind Long-Term Success

Passion alone isn’t enough. The most influential leaders don’t just work for personal gain; they are driven by a deeper purpose. Whether it’s transforming an organization, mentoring others, or solving real-world problems, purpose gives your work meaning—and meaning fuels resilience.

4. Hope: The Resilience to Overcome Challenges

Every leader faces setbacks. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t? Hope. This isn’t blind optimism—it’s the unwavering belief that setbacks are temporary and that perseverance will lead to success. If you lack hope, you’ll quit when things get tough. If you cultivate it, you’ll rise above adversity.

Success requires sacrifices. Every high achiever has given up something they love to attain something they once hated—but ultimately needed—to craft an image that others admire.

Most people remain trapped in deception—believing in shortcuts, luck, or talent alone. But the reality is this: If you want to be a leader, you must embrace the discomfort of learning, practicing, and persevering.

If you’re serious about success, you must invest in your mind. Books like "Grit" offer insights that expose the illusions holding you back and provide a roadmap to genuine achievement. Ignoring such knowledge is a choice—a choice to remain ordinary.

Want to break free? Start reading, start practicing, and start leading.

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How Miracle Happened In My Life

It’s difficult to define pain and pleasure—two opposite emotions that dictate our well-being.

Through my numerous interactions with more than a hundred souls, I’ve come to realize:

For some, pain is losing their loved ones.

For others, it’s losing a high-paying job.

Some feel pain when they have nothing left to do except wait for death.

And then, there’s another kind of pain—the one that comes when basic needs are out of reach. The pain of hunger, of not having a roof over your head, of lacking even the bare minimum to survive. I have experienced this pain.

But nobody talks about it. Nobody bothers. Because most people don’t understand what real pain is, let alone experience it.

The same applies to pleasure. We are so immersed in materialistic pleasures that we have no idea what spiritual pleasure means. And that’s okay. Not all of us are meant to be Amitabh Bachchan or Shahrukh Khan. Life has its own game plan for each of us.

But within our own limits, we must try to redefine and rewrite our destiny. And that is only possible when we surrender—to the force that governs our lives—and keep doing our karma to the best of our abilities.

When we truly surrender, miracles happen.

I experienced one recently.

One of my clients had been withholding my payment. I was in urgent need of funds for my daughter’s wedding and was short by ₹2 lakh. I sent them an invoice for ₹22,500, at least for the GST payment, hoping they would clear it.

But I also did something else.

I turned to my Guruji—Babaji—who introduced Kriya Yoga to the world through Paramhansa Yogananda, the author of Autobiography of a Yogi. I told him, "You take care. I surrender to you completely."

The next day, I received a payment.

Not ₹22,500.

But ₹2,22,500.

Someone had added a zero. And somehow, it went unnoticed.

In a ₹1000-crore company, where checks and balances are strict, where every transaction is scrutinized, how could such a mistake happen?

It wasn’t extra money. It was exactly what was owed to me. Exactly what I needed.

A coincidence? I don’t think so.

A miracle? Absolutely.

Who made this happen? My Babaji.

If you seek miracles, they won’t come. But if you surrender—genuinely, completely, in your true helplessness—something shifts. The universe listens.

I surrendered. And the universe, through Babaji, responded.

I share real-life stories. If this one helps you in any way, I am grateful.

Photo by Viktoriia Kondratiuk

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