Why, apparently wise people, who always talk about achieving an ego-less state of mind, are themselves more egoistic than the normal population?
This thought came to mind when I noticed someone I know, supposed to be a
torch bearer of this enlightened philosophy, succumbed to the evils of
his demanding ego.
As there can never be day without night,
there can never be a normal human without duality of decision and
action. It’s absolutely normal and natural, in my opinion.
However, what matters most for living an accomplished life is to
keep this difference between what we decide and what we practice as
minimum as possible.
Being perfectly idealistic may be
theoretically possible, but living in a complex and materialistic human
society it is practically impossible to attain such a
perfect and pure state of mind and soul.
So the best thing one can do is
to avoid the avoidable duality, and the right approach towards
attaining that goal is enhanced by embracing the ‘Zero Expectation’
concept of life.
Robert Taibbi, a Happiness Expert, through an article in "Psychology Today" highlighting 5 Benefits of Having No Expectations, says:
"Buddhists talk about the “wanting mind” and the power of expectations to create suffering, and that’s certainly true when it comes to our relationships. Our disappointment, irritation, anger, and sadness most often arise because others didn’t respond to us in the way we imagined: I may have expected that my boss would compliment me on my monthly sales figures, that my wife would appreciate how well I cleaned up the kitchen. Rather than focusing on ourselves, we’re always looking ahead and at others. And that’s what gets us into emotional trouble."
Decide and act on giving as much as you can to people within your sphere of influence — but, without expecting anything in
return. No doubt, that’s where most of us fail.
Numerous times I have
done it and watched many doing it: “I did so much for them but they
didn’t bother to reciprocate,” is perhaps the most popular complaint of
entire humanity.
I agree that every relationship is more or
less performance based, and failing to live up to the expectation of
others normally brings an end to most of the associations.
However, my
point is, you do your best to fulfill others’ expectations from you
but never expect anything in return. Treat whatever you get back as a
bonus, not as your rights.
More you reduce your expectation, less would
be the need to practice duality, as your mind would be free of those
confusions and doubts that force you to decide and act differently.
Because, when you stop bothering about others’ reactions, you are left
with nothing but improving your own selfless actions.
That’s why, people who practice the art of unleashing selfless actions, gradually move toward achieving an ego-less state of mind — with a minimum of duality of decision and action! Difficult to practice but not impossible, if you can tame your ego down
.
Reduce your own expectation from others as much as you can; you would move a bit closer to living a duality-free
life. And I’m sure, others, watching your act, would follow your path
sooner or later, making this world a better place to live in.
The day you learn to live a self-less life
with ‘Zero Expectation,’ happiness would launch a never-ending chase for
you. Because, when you have nothing to expect, rather nothing to lose;
standing on zero, everything you receive in life is always positive.
Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels
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