Enjoy The Time And Live Life

     Time is an illusion. They call it "Maya." Time doesn't exist. We are always in the present, moment by moment, every moment. Both past and future are experienced now. We don't experience our past in the past or future in the future. We do it now - The present.

     Everything happening in our life is pre-determined. We are living in a simulation. Who is controlling this grand act of permutations and combinations? I don't have any idea at all.

     The great Stoics Philosophers said more than 2000 years ago that more than 90 percent of our life developments are controlled by situations beyond our control.

     However, I now believe that more than 99.99 percent of our life developments are beyond our control. We don't admit it as this would create a psychological  existential crisis.

     Read my following statement carefully and try to understand: You are what you are today - not because of your efforts  but because Destiny or that Simulator wanted you to be there. Your efforts too are governed by Destiny and what I call the "Master of Simulation."

     Had 10 plus actors not rejected the script of "Zanjeer," would there be an Amitabh Bachchan? That's how that "Master Simulator" or "Destiny" works. Amitabh did not work hard to get "Zanjeer." Master Simulator worked to make him successful. That's how Destiny works.

     To make it more clear, let me share the story of Anil Ambani: By 2008, Anil Ambani had astonishingly surpassed Mukesh in wealth, becoming the world's sixth wealthiest individual with a net worth of $42 billion.

     Where is Anil Ambani now? What is his net worth at this moment? Thats how Master simulator decides our destiny and decided that of Anil Ambani.

     Who is the "Master of Simulation?" I don't know the answer to this question. He or She must be from another dimension of existence and not visible to us. 

     Let me explain: Ultra- high or Ultra-low frequency sound waves are beyond our capture. Similarly, there are many dimensions of existence beyond our understanding.

     Don't worry or feel happy in any situation. Just experience the passing time. When nothing is in your control, why not be the observer of a flowing river we call life? Just observe the flow of life situations and take actions in accordance with 0.01 percent free will. That's all.

     You don't become a celebrity like Sylvester Stallone just because you have worked hard. It was his destiny and even if you have worked harder than him you would never reach that level unless the "Master" wants it. That's life.

     "You are the creator of your Destiny" is the biggest lie quoted by someone I respect most. We are not the creator of our Destiny. Destiny creates us.

     That's a huge topic and I wish to stop here.

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How I Learned To Control Emotional Outbursts

Emotional outburst has spoiled many of my relationships. Both personal snd professional. I could never understand what triggered these outbursts, but now I know.

I did extensive research on this topic to educate myself and take corrective actions to avoid the same.

By the grace of Mahaavatar Babaji, now I have much better control over my emotions, and learned the secret to remain cool and calm even in extremely stress-full situations.

We must understand that emotions are powerful forces that can often overwhelm us and lead to outbursts that we regret later.

Learning to control our emotional responses is a crucial skill that can help us navigate through life more smoothly and build better relationships with others. 

In this story, I will share different aspects of controlling our emotional outbursts and the techniques that can help us achieve self-mastery. These have really helped me.

One of the key aspects of controlling our emotional outbursts is self-awareness. 

It is important to understand what triggers our emotions and how we typically respond in certain situations. 

By becoming more mindful of our thoughts and feelings, we can start to recognize patterns and develop strategies to prevent ourselves from reacting impulsively.

For example, if we tend to get angry when someone criticizes us, we can practice responding calmly and rationally instead of lashing out defensively. 

By taking a moment to pause and reflect on why we are feeling triggered, we can choose to respond in a more constructive way that is less likely to escalate the situation.

Another aspect of controlling our emotional outbursts is learning to regulate our emotions. 

This involves recognizing when we are starting to feel overwhelmed and finding ways to calm ourselves down before our emotions spiral out of control. 

Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, and physical exercise can help us manage intense emotions and prevent them from erupting in a destructive manner.

For instance, if we are feeling stressed and on the verge of losing our temper, we can take a few deep breaths to center ourselves and regain our composure. 

By practicing these relaxation techniques regularly, we can build up our emotional resilience and strengthen our ability to stay grounded in challenging situations.

In addition to self-awareness and emotion regulation, another important aspect of controlling our emotional outbursts is developing effective communication skills. 

Often, our outbursts are fueled by a lack of assertiveness or an inability to express our needs and boundaries in a healthy way. 

By learning how to communicate openly and assertively, we can avoid bottling up our emotions and exploding in a sudden burst of anger or frustration.

For example, if we are feeling overlooked or undervalued at work, instead of allowing resentment to build up until we explode in a heated argument with our colleagues, we can practice expressing our feelings and concerns in a calm and respectful manner. 

By setting clear boundaries and advocating for ourselves in a constructive way, we can prevent conflicts from escalating and maintain healthier relationships with others.

Ultimately, controlling our emotional outbursts is a journey towards self-mastery that requires consistent effort and practice. 

By cultivating self-awareness, regulating our emotions, and improving our communication skills, we can learn to respond to challenging situations with grace and resilience. 

Through mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and effective stress management techniques, we can navigate life's ups and downs with greater ease and cultivate deeper connections with those around us.

As we continue on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth, we will find that our emotional outbursts become less frequent and intense, and we are better equipped to handle life's challenges with poise and confidence. 

By embracing our emotions as a valuable source of information and learning to channel them in a positive direction, we can harness the power of our feelings to fuel our personal growth and transform our lives for the better.

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

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Ratan Reclaimed His Life From An Abusive Relationship

Like most of the stories I write, this one is also based on real life incident. 

Many years ago, I was having a business dinner with the CHRO of a large organization. When during the meeting he was looking a bit depressed, I asked him the reason.

Even though he was quite reluctant to reveal the reason in the beginning; however, after some time he shared an unbelievable development that had happened with his elder son.

This story is based on the same. 

In our society, we always talk about the torture that females go through after marriage. But, unfortunately, none even dare to mention innumerable incidents of the trauma that males experience.

WHY?

Infact, I am writing a novel on this issue to spread awareness in that regard.

Many more true stories of struggle and refusal to give up are in the pipeline. Keep reading my Personal Blog for the same.

Motivation, inspiration and the power to fight against Destiny's Torure are there within us. We just need to awaken that sleeping giant of resistance to not accept our black fate and fight it out until reaching the white end of the spectrum of life.

Come what may, we can't give up! Frankly speaking, living beings are not designed to give up. Otherwise, evolution wouldn't have happend.

Well, here is the story:

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Handle Depressed People With Love And Care

Having experienced a major condition of depression myself for a year atleast, many years ago, I wish none goes through such painful torture of life ever. When severely depressed, one loses interest in living and isolate themselves from the rest of the world. Every minute turns into a year and the desire to remain alive simply disappear.

I managed to come out of it without any medical support, because my family went out of the way to help me recover and I kept on reading the biographies of renowned personalities. Those books taught me how one can gather enough courage to cope up with the adversities of life.

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The Hope!

 

The foundation of our existence is HOPE. Hope is the Engine of Life that helps us keep moving toward our destination. Perseverance, Persistence, Patience, talk about anything, all are fundamentally influenced and governed by hope for a better future in every domain of life.

If there is no hope, there is nothing in life. If there is no hope, we cease to exist. When hope dies, we too die. May be physically, or emotionally, or both.

So, keep the hope alive even in the worst situation. All I have written in this book is about my own experience with regard to inability to give up. This book is a collection of articles I have written, while going through the worst period of life.

Some of the articles are true stories and the rest are the expression of thoughts and ideas coming to my mind. Navigating the dark cloud of Destiny's Torture, I started inspiring myself through writing these article. It was a kind of self-talk to save me from the pains and agonies of life and remain hopeful about a great future.

Hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet those goals. Goddess Elpis in Greek Mythology is the spirit of HOPE.

Clearly indicating that Hope Helps Us Keep Going, a relevant article from "The Psychology Today," highlights:

"Research indicates that hope can help us manage stress and anxiety and cope with adversity. It contributes to our well-being and happiness and motivates positive action. Hopeful people believe they can influence their goals, that their efforts can have a positive impact. They are also more likely to make healthy choices to eat better or exercise, or do the other things that will help them move toward what they are hoping for."

So we must never let the hope disappear from life, even when stuck up in the dark tunnel of life. Hope keeps us alive and it is nothing but the flame of a better future in all domains of life.

Highlighting that "Hope is more than wishful thinking. It’s a blend of optimism and willpower," a write up in "PsychCentral" Calls attention to:

"High-hope people fare better in several areas of life. According to Snyder’s hope theory, higher levels of hope are consistently linked to better outcomes regarding mental health, physical health, academics, athletics, physical health, and psychotherapy."

However, at the same time, to make our hope come true we have to unleash massive actions towards achieving whatever our goals are. The goals could be anything. Materialistic and or Spiritual. Whatever those are, we can achieve the same with a combination of Hope and Hard-work.

The purpose of this book is to motivate them who have lost Hope, or in the process of giving up the same in life. Hope is the foundation of living a meaningful life and an existence full of happiness.

PS: From my book "Elpis - The Hope," available on Amazon. It's obtainable in both paperback and Kindle softcopy format. Please click on the following link: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0BSV1P1ZF

Photo by Torsten Dettlaff

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Unbelievable Sufferings

What I am posting is extremely controversial, but blatant truth as well.

It's about the subject of my next book.

Long ago I met a guy in a pub I used to visit frequently. During several rounds of discussions, he narrated his life story to me.

He got married to the girl he loved. However, after few years of marriage, his wife turned violent and often used to beat him up during every hot discussion.

Later he found that she was suffering from schizophrenia and had a disturbed childhood due to toxic family environment.

He told me in details about his life. How, inspite of being beaten up, regularly, during every hot discussion, he could not divorce her because he never wanted his sons to grow up without their father.

I think, the world should know that it's not only wives who are beaten up, but husbands too.

I did some research on that and came to know that in urban society it happens quite often, even though forbidden to discuss about the same.

Males don't speak out and just keep suffering. This is an important issue and must be brought into the notice of millions of common people like us.

Well, of course with a solution. Even though I don't know what happened to him. He stopped coming to the pub after a year.

To convert this real life story into a novel, I would have to do a lot of research on various psychology theories.

I am willing to do so. However, don't really know if I would be able present his sufferings to the world and that of many through my book.
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Is Your Dream Brutally Assassinated?

Can we walk over brutally assassinated dreams of living a normal life?

Can we forgive destiny for snatching away our fundamental emotional rights?

Can we stop blaming others for not letting us live the life we deserve to live?

Can we own up the responsibility of our own life?

I think, we can. Even though, it is extremely difficult.

It is painful to admit that none but we ourselves are responsible for every situation being created in our lives.

None but we ourselves are the culprits for making our life miserable.

Because, we don't know how to handle our Ego for construction of the foundation of a good life.

Our Ego doesn't allow us to think impartially and arrive at a conclusive conclusion.

Ego tells us, we are right and others are wrong.

Ego misguides us, because Ego survives and thrives out of negativity most of the time.

However, there is a remote possibility of ruling over the conventional verdicts of Ego and take charge of our life.

And that can happen with an unconditional acceptance that we make our life through our choices and decisions.

We can't blame others for the choices we made and can't hold others accountable for our own decisions.

We must own up the consequences of wrong choices and bad decisions.

At the same time, we also should realise a simple fact that we don't control external influences on our life.

There is no point breaking our heads on what we don't control.

Rather, we must focus on what we do control.

In fact, we must concentrate on how we respond to our life situations.

Life is a battle-field of war between situations and responses.

If we respond positively, and with a never give up attitude, we would win the war.

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar

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Time To Think And Act!

Do you really know, what you want to do in life? If you know, are you doing it? If not, why not?

Whatever may be your age, you must do what you want to do. You must start working on the same. 

Right now!

The reason is very simple: You don't want to regret over not doing what you wanted to do in life on your deathbed.

Do some introspection and find out first what you want to do in your life.

If you already know it, go and do it. If not, go and find out.

Humans lives are predominantly governed by the feelings of Pain and Pleasure.

Are you getting pleasure out of what you're doing. If yes, you are on the right track.

If you are getting pain out of what you're doing, you are on the wrong track.

You would never get pain out of of what you really want to do in life.

Don't give silly excuses of certain  compulsions or unavoidable circumstances for not doing what you love to do.

That's the limitation of your existing belief system. Replace it with a new belief system, and change landscape of your life.

Time to think and act!!!

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar

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Are You A Survivor Or A Warrior?

"The Devil whispered in my ear, 'You're not strong enough to withstand the storm.' Today I whispered in the Devil's ear, "I am the storm.'" -Unknown

I am not a professional Life Management Coach. I am not even a feather to any cap of excellence. I am a common person, who could come out of acute depression on his own without taking any external help. 

I did it by reprogramming my belief system with the help of knowledge I had gathered from reading 50 plus books and practicing the lessons learned. 

I did it by removing the weeds of negativity from the fertile soil of my subconscious mind and planting the seeds of positivity. 

I did it all alone, while fighting against the torture of destiny at the age of 56. I am 58 now, and ready to fight it out to reclaim my old glory and fame. 

No situation, no compulsion and no circumstance can force you bowing your head down, unless you yourself give up and decide to surrender. 

This post is addressed to those warriors of life, who are facing the extinction of hope. 

Don't lose hope. 

Endure the worst. 

Doing anything and everything to remain alive is your duty, responsibility and commitment to none but yourself. 

Life rewards those, who negotiate the pitch-dark tunnel of failure without losing hope for finding the way out through hard work and perseverance. 

Fight it out! 

Be a warrior!

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Are You Capable of Controlling Your Anger?

Why people get so angry in normal condition also?

Just went out to a shop for getting some print out. Since there was a formatting involved, I requested him to do so and agreed to pay him for the same.

He got annoyed and started firing me, saying what do I think of him. Is he working for money.
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I kept on saying sorry for few minutes, even though I didn't say anything offensive. He continued for 4/5 minutes and finally calmed down.

Out of curiosity, I tried to find out what was wrong with him and came to know that there is an issue in his family for which he was frustrated.

We must have control over our emotions, in every situation, and I am thinking to suggest him the book "The Four Agreements" to learn how to control the same - the way I started doing after reading that book.

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Control Your Fear With Reasoning!

“A brave man isn’t someone who doesn’t experience any trace of fear whatsoever but someone who acts courageously despite feeling anxiety.

A man who has great self-discipline or restraint isn’t someone who feels no inkling of desire but someone who overcomes his cravings, by abstaining from acting upon them.”

By Donald Robertson

“Right, no one said anything about not feeling it. No one said you can’t ever cry. Forget ‘manliness.’ If you need to take a moment, by all means, go ahead.

Real strength lies in the control or, as Nassim Taleb put it, the domestication of one’s emotions, not in pretending they don’t exist.”

By Ryan Holidays

Having gone through the highs and lows of emotions and corresponding positive and negative feelings in my life so many times, like all humans, I completely agree with the messages of the above quotes that we must accept our feelings as they are - and live them without denying their existence - but control them with the arms and ammunition of reasoning.

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Two Stories: Think, Before You Judge!

We are constantly judging people and situations based on whatever information we have gathered, thinking that we have sufficient knowledge about the same to come to a definite conclusion.

While doing so, often we ignore the fact that there could be a bigger picture in that regard which is still not known to us. And there we go wrong and, sometime, in a big way.

The consequence of false judgement, leading to wrong thoughts, feelings and actions could sometime be quite devastating. 

I think, we should never judge someone unless we know the wider perspective and look for information that we are not yet aware of.

That's is the only way to understand why someone is behaving the way they are doing and some situations are the way they are.

You may go through the following videos, highlighting two stories, to understand why you should take a pause and think twice before judging anyone or any situation on the face value.

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You Are An Eagle, Not A Chicken: Come On, Fly!

I am sure, you have heard the story of a chicken farmer, who found an eagle’s egg and put it with the eggs of his chickens. Soon the egg hatched. 

The young eagle grew up with all the other chickens, and  did exactly whatever they did. He thought, he was a chicken. 

Since the chickens could fly for a short distance, the eagle too learnt to fly a short distance only. He never thought anything beyond that. 

One day he saw a bird flying high in the sky. The eagle was very impressed and asked the hens around: “Who is that?” 

“Oh, that’s an eagle, the king of the birds,” the hens told him. “He belongs to the sky. We belong to the ground.” So the eagle lived and died as a chicken.

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How To Stop Worrying: Practical Solution By A Great Thinker!

"Those who do not know how to fight worry, die young." By Dr. Alexis Carrel

With so much happening in and around us, these days, which are beyond our control, it is quite natural to get worried at times. More than six months of complete isolation at home due to Covid19 pandemic has virtually shattered the confidence of so many.

Well, life is now coming back to a kind of normalcy, but the threat is not over yet. The devastating impact of the pandemic has brought economy and business to a grinding halt, leading to massive job cuts across most of the segments. 

For survival, people are left with no option but do any kind of job. The other day, I read about two school teachers running cycle repair shops. And recently I noticed a post on LinkedIn, that 2 pilots of an Australian Airline, after losing their jobs, have taken up the assignment of bus driver.

People are doing whatever they can to remain afloat, and that comes with an element of worry. It is practically impossible to avoid worrying. Even during normal regular life, we have so much to worry about. 

However, simply worrying does not take us to any solution. For that, we have to initiate some methodical steps. What I am taking about is a result oriented approach to handle worry in such a way that it does not cause us any emotional damage. Too much worry is the root cause of not only mental diseases, but physical ailment also.

Few Days ago, I had been reading a great book: "How to stop worrying and start living," by Dale Carnegie. I had read it long ago. However, it faded away from my memory. I am sure most of you must have read it at some point. 

I don't know how much you remember from that book.. However, in just an hour of reading, I came across couple of amazing solutions provided by the author. In fact, I tried them out myself, and let me tell you the results are astonishing. 

It has not completely stopped me from worrying, but certainly it has reduced the same to a great extent. I am sure, during this time of so much stress and strain, we need to implement these practices for reducing our worries to whatever extent possible.

Let me share with you a case study of how to solve worry problem from his book in his own words:

"When I was a young man,” Mr. Carrier said, “I worked for the Buffalo Forge Company in Buffalo, New York. I was handed the assignment of installing a gas-cleaning device in a plant of the Pittsburgh Plate Glass Company at Crystal City, Missouri—a plant costing millions of dollars. The purpose of this installation was to remove the impurities from the gas so it could be burned without injuring the engines. This method of cleaning gas was new. It had been tried only once before—and under different conditions."

"In my work at Crystal City, Missouri, unforeseen difficulties arose. It worked after a fashion—but not well enough to meet the guarantee we had made. I was stunned by my failure. It was almost as if someone had struck me a blow on the head. My stomach, my insides, began to twist and turn. For a while I was so worried I couldn’t sleep. Finally, common sense reminded me that worry wasn’t getting me anywhere; so I figured out a way to handle my problem without worrying. It worked superbly. I have been using this same anti-worry technique for more than thirty years. It is simple. Anyone can use it."

It consists of three steps: 

Step I. I analyzed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure. No one was going to jail me or shoot me. That was certain. True, there was also a chance that I would lose my position; and there was also a chance that my employers would have to remove the machinery and lose the twenty thousand dollars we had invested."

Step II. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary. I said to myself: This failure will be a blow to my record, and it might possibly mean the loss of my job; but if it does, I can always get another position. Conditions could be much worse; and as far as my employers are concerned—well, they realize that we are experimenting with a new method of cleaning gas, and if this experience costs them twenty thousand dollars, they can stand it. They can charge it up to research, for it is an experiment. After discovering the worst that could possibly happen and reconciling myself to accepting it, if necessary, an extremely important thing happened: I immediately relaxed and felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t experienced in days. 

Step III. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally. “I now tried to figure out ways and means by which I might reduce the loss of twenty thousand dollars that we faced. I made several tests and finally figured out that if we spent another five thousand for additional equipment, our problem would be solved. We did this, and instead of the firm losing twenty thousand, we made fifteen thousand. 

I probably would never have been able to do this if I had kept on worrying, because one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all these vague imaginings imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.

Practically speaking, we can't get rid of our worries completely. It is not possible. So the best approach is to tackle them as much as we can with the above mentioned tools. That is exactly what is the need of the hour now. 

I am sure, very soon we will come out this crisis situation and life would become normal again. Even then, we still will have our share of worries and must not get frustrated by the pull of the same. Rather, we should go through the above mentioned steps for solving our worries as much as possible.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

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How To Achieve Happiness Through ZERO Expectation!

Why, apparently wise people, who always talk about achieving an ego-less state of mind, are themselves more egoistic than the normal population? 

 

This thought came to mind when I noticed someone I know, supposed to be a torch bearer of this enlightened philosophy, succumbed to the evils of his demanding ego.

As there can never be day without night, there can never be a normal human without duality of decision and action. It’s absolutely normal and natural, in my opinion.

 

However, what matters most for living an accomplished life is to keep this difference between what we decide and what we practice as minimum as possible.

 

Being perfectly idealistic may be theoretically possible, but living in a complex and materialistic human society it is practically impossible to attain such a perfect and pure state of mind and soul. 

 

So the best thing one can do is to avoid the avoidable duality, and the right approach towards attaining that goal is enhanced by embracing the ‘Zero Expectation’ concept of life.

 

Robert Taibbi, a Happiness Expert, through an article in "Psychology Today" highlighting 5 Benefits of Having No Expectations, says:

 

"Buddhists talk about the “wanting mind” and the power of expectations to create suffering, and that’s certainly true when it comes to our relationships. Our disappointment, irritation, anger, and sadness most often arise because others didn’t respond to us in the way we imagined: I may have expected that my boss would compliment me on my monthly sales figures, that my wife would appreciate how well I cleaned up the kitchen. Rather than focusing on ourselves, we’re always looking ahead and at others. And that’s what gets us into emotional trouble."

Decide and act on giving as much as you can to people within your sphere of influence — but, without expecting anything in return.  No doubt, that’s where most of us fail. 

 

Numerous times I have done it and watched many doing it: “I did so much for them but they didn’t bother to reciprocate,” is perhaps the most popular complaint of entire humanity.

I agree that  every relationship is more or less performance based, and failing to live up to the expectation of others normally brings an end to most of the associations. 

 

However, my point is, you do your best to fulfill others’ expectations from you but never expect anything in return. Treat whatever you get back as a bonus, not as your rights.

More you reduce your expectation, less would be the need to practice duality, as your mind would be free of those confusions and doubts that force you to decide and act differently.  

 

Because, when you stop bothering about others’ reactions, you are left with nothing but improving your own selfless actions.

That’s why, people who practice the art of unleashing selfless actions, gradually move toward achieving an ego-less state of mind — with a minimum of duality of decision and action! Difficult to practice but not impossible, if you can tame your ego down

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Reduce your own expectation from others as much as you can; you would move a bit closer to living a duality-free life. And I’m sure, others, watching your act, would follow your path sooner or later, making this world a better place to live in.

The day you learn to live a self-less life with ‘Zero Expectation,’ happiness would launch a never-ending chase for you. Because, when you have nothing to expect, rather nothing to lose; standing on zero, everything you receive in life is always positive.

 

Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels

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How To Help Your Near And Dear Ones Suffering From Depression!

Recent suicides of so many Movie and TV stars have brought to notice an issue that is normally avoided by most of us in any kind of active discussion: Clinical Depression. 

According to an article published on "India Today," India is the most depressed country in the world.

"Here's a list of countries with the greatest burden of mental and behavioural disorders, in terms of most years of life lost due to disability or death adjusted for population size, according to WHO."

One of the World's most reputed Healthcare websites "WebMD," throwing some light on what Clinical Depression is, and analyzing different aspects of it, highlights.

"Most people feel sad or depressed at times. It’s a normal reaction to loss or life's struggles.But when intense sadness -- including feeling helpless, hopeless, and worthless -- lasts for many days to weeks and keeps you from living your life, it may be something more than sadness. You could have clinical depression -- a treatable medical condition."

Unfortunately, in our society, there is a social stigma attached to this mental disorder and people suffering from it are mostly in denial. I think, near and dear ones of such people must help those suffering from the same. According to "PsychCentral," one of the most reputed Psychology websites in the world, there are 11 ways to help a loved one in denial.

"What if your friend, mother, sibling, or father-in-law is severely depressed but refuses to recognize it?

Most of us have been there at least once in our life: the awkward spot where you know a loved one has a mood disorder or drinking problem, but is too stubborn to admit it and too proud to get help. You might see the consequence his behavior is having on his children, his job, or his marriage, but he is blissfully blind or is in too much pain to see the truth.

What can you do, short of taking the person by his shoulders, shaking him, while screaming, “Wake the hell up and see what you are doing?!?”

It’s very complicated.

Because people are different.

Mood disorders vary.

And families are as unique as the illnesses themselves."

But before we do that, we must have a clear understanding of the various aspects of this disorder in totality and for that, "Very Well Mind," a highly reputed Knowledge website, points out 7 facts everyone should know about depression.

"Depression is a very real and treatable illness. But myths, misunderstandings, and stigma continue to be barriers to treatment for many, and the consequences of untreated depression can be life-threatening. Understanding the facts about depression, on the other hand, can save lives. Here are seven things everyone should know about depression and depressive disorders." 

Now that we have a clear understanding of this disease, let us follow eight ways to actively fight depression, as spelt out by "Psychology Today," one of the best psychology websites in the globe.

"When you're depressed, it often feels like nothing in the world can make you feel better. Depression is a devious disorder, because the symptoms it creates can discourage you from completing the actions or seeking the help that would begin your recovery. Lack of energy, low self-esteem, and dwindling excitement are some of the symptoms that make it hard to get out of a depressed state. 

For anyone experiencing this stuckness, it's important to remember that depression is a very common and highly treatable disorder. By treating it like any other physical disease and taking the actions that will destroy the parasites infecting your mental state, you can conquer your depression. Here are eight steps to do just that."

Have you ever come across someone - within your circle of influence - suffering from depression? if so, what have you done to help them recover? Please, share your experience in the comment column.

Image credit: https://www.pexels.com/@lanophotography

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Educate Children To Treat Others With Dignity!

 

I almost cried. No, I actually cried: Listening to the conversation between a friend of mine and his 12 years old nephew -- his younger brother's son.

Accidentally deprived of oxygen flow, for a few minutes during his birth, he was born with a brain malfunction that severely affected his motor movement -- making him slightly limp during walk.

Simply speaking, despite having no physical deformity he is unable to stand erect and walk normally, because a part of his brain that controls his nervous system regulating leg movement got permanently damaged.

 

Recently, due to a family engagement he couldn't attend school for a few days, and my friend, while helping him complete home work, asked him to get relevant notes from one of his friends.

'I have no friends.' He replied!

'Don't joke, son,' said my friend. 'Tell me the name of your best friend.'

'Believe me, I'm not joking. I don't have any friend.'

'But why?'

'Because, I'm different than others.'

Unable to understand, my friend probed further.

'How come? What made you feel different?'

'Because, I can't walk like them. I'm physically challenged.' He explained like an adult. 'That's why none wants to be my friend.'

At that point my friend changed the course of discussion, leaving me wonder, how ruthless is this world -- including young generation.

Well, the purpose of this post is to highlight a dark shade of life that was still unknown to me until overhearing above conversion.

However, the next day I had a counseling session with him and did my best to make him realize that he is no different. I shall share the gist of my intense discussion with him through one of my future posts.

 

Well, there is a great guideline, in that respect, outlined in one the posts on Harvard Graduation School Website, providing 5 Tips For Cultivating Empathy In Children.

  

"Empathy is at the heart of what it means to be human. It’s a foundation for acting ethically, for good relationships of many kinds, for loving well, and for professional success. And it’s key to preventing bullying and many other forms of cruelty.Empathy begins with the capacity to take another perspective, to walk in another’s shoes. 

 But it is not just that capacity. Salespeople, politicians, actors and marketers are often very skilled at taking other perspectives but they may not care about others. Con men and torturers take other perspectives so they can exploit people’s weaknesses. Empathy includes valuing other perspectives and people. It’s about perspective-taking and compassion."

In the mean time, let me make  an appeal to all parents: Please, educate your children to treat others with dignity and empathy. Tell your children that they are lucky to be born normal. Make them realize that they must thank God for being normal, and teach them to stop laughing at others who're not as fortunate for no fault of theirs.

Parents may go through an excellent article written by Erin Leonar, in one of the World's most popular Psychology websites, Psychology Today, highlighting "The Secret To Teaching A Child Empathy."

  

"The goal is to raise a child who is conscientious. A child who truly cares about the way his or her actions impact others is, generally, a child with solid character.

Usually this type of child feels immediate and deep remorse after a mistake and works hard to make it right. A deep streak of empathy usually runs through this sort of child.

But what about the kids who lack these capabilities? Helping them acquire the capacity for empathy is critical because it is key in maintaining close and healthy relationships."

Let us teach our children to have empathy for others, including them who deserve it most, by educating them understand the importance of the same for living a healthy emotional life and achieving relationship excellence.

 

Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels

 

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