Like most of the stories I write, this one is also based on real life incident.
Many years ago, I was having a business dinner with the CHRO of a large organization. When during the meeting he was looking a bit depressed, I asked him the reason.
Even though he was quite reluctant to reveal the reason in the beginning; however, after some time he shared an unbelievable development that had happened with his elder son.
This story is based on the same.
In our society, we always talk about the torture that females go through after marriage. But, unfortunately, none even dare to mention innumerable incidents of the trauma that males experience.
WHY?
Infact, I am writing a novel on this issue to spread awareness in that regard.
Many more true stories of struggle and refusal to give up are in the pipeline. Keep reading my Personal Blog for the same.
Motivation, inspiration and the power to fight against Destiny's Torure are there within us. We just need to awaken that sleeping giant of resistance to not accept our black fate and fight it out until reaching the white end of the spectrum of life.
Come what may, we can't give up! Frankly speaking, living beings are not designed to give up. Otherwise, evolution wouldn't have happend.
Well, here is the story:
I managed to come out of it without any medical support, because my family went out of the way to help me recover and I kept on reading the biographies of renowned personalities. Those books taught me how one can gather enough courage to cope up with the adversities of life.
The foundation of our existence is HOPE. Hope is the Engine of Life that helps us keep moving toward our destination. Perseverance, Persistence, Patience, talk about anything, all are fundamentally influenced and governed by hope for a better future in every domain of life.
If there is no hope, there is nothing in life. If there is no hope, we cease to exist. When hope dies, we too die. May be physically, or emotionally, or both.
So, keep the hope alive even in the worst situation. All I have written in this book is about my own experience with regard to inability to give up. This book is a collection of articles I have written, while going through the worst period of life.
Some of the articles are true stories and the rest are the expression of thoughts and ideas coming to my mind. Navigating the dark cloud of Destiny's Torture, I started inspiring myself through writing these article. It was a kind of self-talk to save me from the pains and agonies of life and remain hopeful about a great future.
Hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet those goals. Goddess Elpis in Greek Mythology is the spirit of HOPE.
Clearly indicating that Hope Helps Us Keep Going, a relevant article from "The Psychology Today," highlights:
"Research indicates that hope can help us manage stress and anxiety and cope with adversity. It contributes to our well-being and happiness and motivates positive action. Hopeful people believe they can influence their goals, that their efforts can have a positive impact. They are also more likely to make healthy choices to eat better or exercise, or do the other things that will help them move toward what they are hoping for."
So we must never let the hope disappear from life, even when stuck up in the dark tunnel of life. Hope keeps us alive and it is nothing but the flame of a better future in all domains of life.
Highlighting that "Hope is more than wishful thinking. It’s a blend of optimism and willpower," a write up in "PsychCentral" Calls attention to:
"High-hope people fare better in several areas of life. According to Snyder’s hope theory, higher levels of hope are consistently linked to better outcomes regarding mental health, physical health, academics, athletics, physical health, and psychotherapy."
However, at the same time, to make our hope come true we have to unleash massive actions towards achieving whatever our goals are. The goals could be anything. Materialistic and or Spiritual. Whatever those are, we can achieve the same with a combination of Hope and Hard-work.
The purpose of this book is to motivate them who have lost Hope, or in the process of giving up the same in life. Hope is the foundation of living a meaningful life and an existence full of happiness.
PS: From my book "Elpis - The Hope," available on Amazon. It's obtainable in both paperback and Kindle softcopy format. Please click on the following link: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0BSV1P1ZF
Photo by Torsten Dettlaff
Tweet
What I am posting is extremely controversial, but blatant truth as well.
It's about the subject of my next book.
Why people get so angry in normal condition also?
Just went out to a shop for getting some print out. Since there was a formatting involved, I requested him to do so and agreed to pay him for the same.
He got annoyed and started firing me, saying what do I think of him. Is he working for money.
.
I kept on saying sorry for few minutes, even though I didn't say anything offensive. He continued for 4/5 minutes and finally calmed down.
Out of curiosity, I tried to find out what was wrong with him and came to know that there is an issue in his family for which he was frustrated.
We must have control over our emotions, in every situation, and I am thinking to suggest him the book "The Four Agreements" to learn how to control the same - the way I started doing after reading that book.
Tweet“A brave man isn’t someone who doesn’t experience any trace of fear whatsoever but someone who acts courageously despite feeling anxiety.
A man who has great self-discipline or restraint isn’t someone who feels no inkling of desire but someone who overcomes his cravings, by abstaining from acting upon them.”
By Donald Robertson
“Right, no one said anything about not feeling it. No one said you can’t ever cry. Forget ‘manliness.’ If you need to take a moment, by all means, go ahead.
Real strength lies in the control or, as Nassim Taleb put it, the domestication of one’s emotions, not in pretending they don’t exist.”
By Ryan Holidays
Having gone through the highs and lows of emotions and corresponding positive and negative feelings in my life so many times, like all humans, I completely agree with the messages of the above quotes that we must accept our feelings as they are - and live them without denying their existence - but control them with the arms and ammunition of reasoning.
TweetWe are constantly judging people and situations based on whatever information we have gathered, thinking that we have sufficient knowledge about the same to come to a definite conclusion.
While doing so, often we ignore the fact that there could be a bigger picture in that regard which is still not known to us. And there we go wrong and, sometime, in a big way.
The consequence of false judgement, leading to wrong thoughts, feelings and actions could sometime be quite devastating.
I think, we should never judge someone unless we know the wider perspective and look for information that we are not yet aware of.
That's is the only way to understand why someone is behaving the way they are doing and some situations are the way they are.
You may go through the following videos, highlighting two stories, to understand why you should take a pause and think twice before judging anyone or any situation on the face value.
I am sure, you have heard the story of a chicken farmer, who found an eagle’s egg and put it with the eggs of his chickens. Soon the egg hatched.
"Those who do not know how to fight worry, die young." By Dr. Alexis Carrel
With so much happening in and around us, these days, which are beyond our control, it is quite natural to get worried at times. More than six months of complete isolation at home due to Covid19 pandemic has virtually shattered the confidence of so many.
Well, life is now coming back to a kind of normalcy, but the threat is not over yet. The devastating impact of the pandemic has brought economy and business to a grinding halt, leading to massive job cuts across most of the segments.
For survival, people are left with no option but do any kind of job. The other day, I read about two school teachers running cycle repair shops. And recently I noticed a post on LinkedIn, that 2 pilots of an Australian Airline, after losing their jobs, have taken up the assignment of bus driver.
People are doing whatever they can to remain afloat, and that comes with an element of worry. It is practically impossible to avoid worrying. Even during normal regular life, we have so much to worry about.
However, simply worrying does not take us to any solution. For that, we have to initiate some methodical steps. What I am taking about is a result oriented approach to handle worry in such a way that it does not cause us any emotional damage. Too much worry is the root cause of not only mental diseases, but physical ailment also.
Few Days ago, I had been reading a great book: "How to stop worrying and start living," by Dale Carnegie. I had read it long ago. However, it faded away from my memory. I am sure most of you must have read it at some point.
I don't know how much you remember from that book.. However, in just an hour of reading, I came across couple of amazing solutions provided by the author. In fact, I tried them out myself, and let me tell you the results are astonishing.
It has not completely stopped me from worrying, but certainly it has reduced the same to a great extent. I am sure, during this time of so much stress and strain, we need to implement these practices for reducing our worries to whatever extent possible.
Let me share with you a case study of how to solve worry problem from his book in his own words:
"When I was a young man,” Mr. Carrier said, “I worked for the Buffalo Forge Company in Buffalo, New York. I was handed the assignment of installing a gas-cleaning device in a plant of the Pittsburgh Plate Glass Company at Crystal City, Missouri—a plant costing millions of dollars. The purpose of this installation was to remove the impurities from the gas so it could be burned without injuring the engines. This method of cleaning gas was new. It had been tried only once before—and under different conditions."
"In my work at Crystal City, Missouri, unforeseen difficulties arose. It worked after a fashion—but not well enough to meet the guarantee we had made. I was stunned by my failure. It was almost as if someone had struck me a blow on the head. My stomach, my insides, began to twist and turn. For a while I was so worried I couldn’t sleep. Finally, common sense reminded me that worry wasn’t getting me anywhere; so I figured out a way to handle my problem without worrying. It worked superbly. I have been using this same anti-worry technique for more than thirty years. It is simple. Anyone can use it."
It consists of three steps:
Step I. I analyzed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure. No one was going to jail me or shoot me. That was certain. True, there was also a chance that I would lose my position; and there was also a chance that my employers would have to remove the machinery and lose the twenty thousand dollars we had invested."
Step II. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary. I said to myself: This failure will be a blow to my record, and it might possibly mean the loss of my job; but if it does, I can always get another position. Conditions could be much worse; and as far as my employers are concerned—well, they realize that we are experimenting with a new method of cleaning gas, and if this experience costs them twenty thousand dollars, they can stand it. They can charge it up to research, for it is an experiment. After discovering the worst that could possibly happen and reconciling myself to accepting it, if necessary, an extremely important thing happened: I immediately relaxed and felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t experienced in days.
Step III. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally. “I now tried to figure out ways and means by which I might reduce the loss of twenty thousand dollars that we faced. I made several tests and finally figured out that if we spent another five thousand for additional equipment, our problem would be solved. We did this, and instead of the firm losing twenty thousand, we made fifteen thousand.
I probably would never have been able to do this if I had kept on worrying, because one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all these vague imaginings imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.
I am sure, very soon we will come out this crisis situation and life would become normal again. Even then, we still will have our share of worries and must not get frustrated by the pull of the same. Rather, we should go through the above mentioned steps for solving our worries as much as possible.
"Buddhists talk about the “wanting mind” and the power of expectations to create suffering, and that’s certainly true when it comes to our relationships. Our disappointment, irritation, anger, and sadness most often arise because others didn’t respond to us in the way we imagined: I may have expected that my boss would compliment me on my monthly sales figures, that my wife would appreciate how well I cleaned up the kitchen. Rather than focusing on ourselves, we’re always looking ahead and at others. And that’s what gets us into emotional trouble."
"Here's a list of countries with the greatest burden of mental and behavioural disorders, in terms of most years of life lost due to disability or death adjusted for population size, according to WHO."One of the World's most reputed Healthcare websites "WebMD," throwing some light on what Clinical Depression is, and analyzing different aspects of it, highlights.
"Most people feel sad or depressed at times. It’s a normal reaction to loss or life's struggles.But when intense sadness -- including feeling helpless, hopeless, and worthless -- lasts for many days to weeks and keeps you from living your life, it may be something more than sadness. You could have clinical depression -- a treatable medical condition."Unfortunately, in our society, there is a social stigma attached to this mental disorder and people suffering from it are mostly in denial. I think, near and dear ones of such people must help those suffering from the same. According to "PsychCentral," one of the most reputed Psychology websites in the world, there are 11 ways to help a loved one in denial.
"What if your friend, mother, sibling, or father-in-law is severely depressed but refuses to recognize it?
Most of us have been there at least once in our life: the awkward spot where you know a loved one has a mood disorder or drinking problem, but is too stubborn to admit it and too proud to get help. You might see the consequence his behavior is having on his children, his job, or his marriage, but he is blissfully blind or is in too much pain to see the truth.
What can you do, short of taking the person by his shoulders, shaking him, while screaming, “Wake the hell up and see what you are doing?!?”
It’s very complicated.
Because people are different.
Mood disorders vary.
And families are as unique as the illnesses themselves."But before we do that, we must have a clear understanding of the various aspects of this disorder in totality and for that, "Very Well Mind," a highly reputed Knowledge website, points out 7 facts everyone should know about depression.
"Depression is a very real and treatable illness. But myths, misunderstandings, and stigma continue to be barriers to treatment for many, and the consequences of untreated depression can be life-threatening. Understanding the facts about depression, on the other hand, can save lives. Here are seven things everyone should know about depression and depressive disorders."Now that we have a clear understanding of this disease, let us follow eight ways to actively fight depression, as spelt out by "Psychology Today," one of the best psychology websites in the globe.
"When you're depressed, it often feels like nothing in the world can make you feel better. Depression is a devious disorder, because the symptoms it creates can discourage you from completing the actions or seeking the help that would begin your recovery. Lack of energy, low self-esteem, and dwindling excitement are some of the symptoms that make it hard to get out of a depressed state.
For anyone experiencing this stuckness, it's important to remember that depression is a very common and highly treatable disorder. By treating it like any other physical disease and taking the actions that will destroy the parasites infecting your mental state, you can conquer your depression. Here are eight steps to do just that."Have you ever come across someone - within your circle of influence - suffering from depression? if so, what have you done to help them recover? Please, share your experience in the comment column.
I
almost cried. No, I actually cried: Listening to the conversation
between a friend of mine and his 12 years old nephew -- his younger brother's son.
"Empathy is at the heart of what it means to be human. It’s a foundation for acting ethically, for good relationships of many kinds, for loving well, and for professional success. And it’s key to preventing bullying and many other forms of cruelty.Empathy begins with the capacity to take another perspective, to walk in another’s shoes.
But it is not just that capacity. Salespeople, politicians, actors and marketers are often very skilled at taking other perspectives but they may not care about others. Con men and torturers take other perspectives so they can exploit people’s weaknesses. Empathy includes valuing other perspectives and people. It’s about perspective-taking and compassion."
"The goal is to raise a child who is conscientious. A child who truly cares about the way his or her actions impact others is, generally, a child with solid character.
Usually this type of child feels immediate and deep remorse after a mistake and works hard to make it right. A deep streak of empathy usually runs through this sort of child.
But what about the kids who lack these capabilities? Helping them acquire the capacity for empathy is critical because it is key in maintaining close and healthy relationships."
I remember when I was studying psychology in college and one of the topics was the importance of a good, healthy self-image.I was fascinated by the subject, and one day it occurred to me: “Image? Good image, bad image, it’s just an image!”I realized that what we were being taught was to go from having a negative image of ourselves to a good image of ourselves.Of course, if we’re going to stay in the realm of images, of believing that we’re an idea or an image, then it’s better to have a good image of ourselves than it is to have a negative image of ourselves.But if we’re beginning to look at the core and the root of suffering, we start to see that an image is just that: It’s an image.It’s an idea. A set of thoughts. It’s literally a product of imagination. It’s who we imagine ourselves to be.We end up putting so much attention onto our image that we remain in a continuous state of protecting or improving our image in order to control how others see us.So in effect, we are all walking around presenting an image to each other, and we’re relating to each other as images.Whoever we think somebody else is, it’s just an image we have in our mind.When we relate to each other from the standpoint of image, we’re not relating to who each other is, we’re just relating to our imagination of who each other is.Then we wonder why we don’t relate so well, why we get into arguments, and why we misunderstand each other so deeply.
When we understand the simple fact that, our thoughts, feelings and actions are governed by the programs downloaded to our subconscious mind from the surrounding environment, predominantly during first 7 years of life, and those can be overwritten only by installing new programs through repetition and practicing the same, won't we look at others with a greater understanding of their own pains, agonies and sufferings and be empathetic toward them?
Isn't that great humanity all about?