Success: Are You In The Spotlight?

What is meant by success? Is there an universal definition of success? Can we pin point, yes, reaching that particular milestone is called success?

For an animal, primary success is all about being alive: For a predator, success means achieving the daunting task of killing her prey for the next meal; for a prey, success is the manifestation of her ability to stay away from those killers on daily basis.

I think, the same principle applies to humans as well, at primary level: Winning the struggle for survival.

Requiring to meet the basic needs, humans look for a stable source of income that would help them remain alive -- physically.  I would like to call it 'Primary Success' because all species, including humans, must first ensure the survival before looking beyond.

And after achieving this primary success, one can think of achieving the next level. The next level of success, that we notice in animal kingdom, is the desire to dominate others. By domination, I mean reaching leadership position through muscle power like the owner of a pride of lions, or by virtue of knowledge and experience like the leader of a herd of elephants.

Strikingly similar developments take place in human society also. Humans, consciously or subconsciously, try to dominate others within their area of influence: Some do it with money power, some with muscle power and a few with the power of knowledge.

This urge to dominate others is basically for fulfilling the need to be recognized and accepted, that one is better than the rest. Nature maintains its equilibrium by rewarding the performers and punishing the failures, and it happens with every form of life on planet earth.

Nothing wrong in getting ahead of others, however, sometime, this in-built desire to perform better  - proving to be superior to others - and the quest for subsequent recognition, 'Success,' makes humans step over the limits imposed by moral and ethical values that constitute the foundation of human civilization.

So success, any domain of life, in my opinion, basically translates to establishing oneself as the leader, who would protect his followers and inspire them to be successful at their own level of existence. Ultimately, success is all about reaching a higher level of excellence and influencing others' lives for making this world a better place.

And it can happen, only when you are in the spotlight! Do you agree?

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Unbelievable Sufferings

What I am posting is extremely controversial, but blatant truth as well.

It's about the subject of my next book.

Long ago I met a guy in a pub I used to visit frequently. During several rounds of discussions, he narrated his life story to me.

He got married to the girl he loved. However, after few years of marriage, his wife turned violent and often used to beat him up during every hot discussion.

Later he found that she was suffering from schizophrenia and had a disturbed childhood due to toxic family environment.

He told me in details about his life. How, inspite of being beaten up, regularly, during every hot discussion, he could not divorce her because he never wanted his sons to grow up without their father.

I think, the world should know that it's not only wives who are beaten up, but husbands too.

I did some research on that and came to know that in urban society it happens quite often, even though forbidden to discuss about the same.

Males don't speak out and just keep suffering. This is an important issue and must be brought into the notice of millions of common people like us.

Well, of course with a solution. Even though I don't know what happened to him. He stopped coming to the pub after a year.

To convert this real life story into a novel, I would have to do a lot of research on various psychology theories.

I am willing to do so. However, don't really know if I would be able present his sufferings to the world and that of many through my book.
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Hope Is The Engine Of Life

The foundation of our existence is HOPE. Hope is the Engine of Life that helps us keep moving toward our destination. 

Perseverance, Persistence, Patience, talk about anything, all are fundamentally influenced and governed by hope for a better future in every domain of life. 

If there is no hope, there is nothing in life. If there is no hope, we cease to exist. When hope dies, we too die. May be physically, or emotionally, or both. So, keep the hope alive even in the worst situation. 

Hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet those goals. 

We must never let the hope disappear from life, even when stuck up in the dark tunnel of life. Hope keeps us alive and it is nothing but the flame of a better future in all domains of life. 

However, at the same time, to make our hope come true we have to unleash massive actions towards achieving whatever our goals are. 

The goals could be anything. Materialistic and or Spiritual. Whatever those are, we can achieve the same with a combination of Hope and Hardwork. 

The purpose of this article is to motivate them who have lost Hope, or in the process of giving up the same in life. 

Hope is the foundation of living a meaningful life and an existence full of happiness.

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Life Development Pre-Determined?

 

My horoscope is before me right now.

Reading it after 40 years is shaking my belief that we are the creators of our Destiny -- what Swami Vivekananda said long ago.

If everything is predetermined, it means Lord Krishna's life too was pre-determined.

Does it mean that the messages in Gita too were pre-determined?

If it is so, who is determining these since eternity?

Everything mentioned in my horoscope is matching with my life developments.

How can one's life developments be predictable to such an accuracy?

Does it mean, we have no control over what's happening in our life.

Does it mean, every development in our life is pre-determined?

I am confused!!!

If every development in our life is pre-determined, then
we humans are nothing but robots for them who are controlling us. Amazing!

A force much bigger than Lord Krishna in Hinduism, Jesus in Christianity, Buddha in Buddhism and....

Life period of different creatures differs widely.

Most insects live less than a year. In fact, Mayfly — are the shortest living animals on the planet, as the adult lifespan of a fly from this species is only 24 hours.

The point is, human life span on an average of 60 years could be a second for those controlling us. May be much much less.

The point I am trying to make is - we are being controlled by some forces beyond the scope of Eisenstein's theory of relativity.

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A Man of Action!

Few years ago, after getting down from Metro Rail at Chattarpur Station, New Delhi, I was looking for an auto-ricksaw.

I was standing on the pavement across the main road. With people moving like ants, there was no sign of an auto.

Suddenly, just a meter away from me, an auto-ricksaw came to a screeching halt and the driver waved at me.

I ran toward him, and as soon as I reached him he said in English, "Sir, get inside, else this policeman would challan me."

Perplexed, how an auto-driver was speaking fluent English, I first got inside and then asked him about his background.

To cut the story short - He, a Master in Political Science, retired from a Govt. Job, is now an auto-driver not out of compulsion.

Further discussion with him revealed, when, after retirement, he was unable to find out a job that would keep him busy for at least 8 hrs a day, he decided to buy an auto and drive it.

He was talking to me in chaste English. 

"Sir, I receive a good pension and both my sons are well settled. However, I can't sit idle through-out the day. Hence, I decided to take up this profession," he concluded. 

With my destination fast approaching, I decided to end the conversation.

However, even after 2 years of our chance encounter, I still remember him for his dedication to action.

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How I Am Applying Incremental Changes In My Life!

Reading this book - The Atomic Habits - and applying its wisdom in my life, I am developing so many good habits: Walking for 1 hour everyday, walking up early morning to name a few. 

I am truly thankful to James Clear for making me understand the importance of small and tiny changes on continuous basis for bringing about a huge change in every domain of life.

I had tried quitting alcohol several times in my life, including a recent attempt, but failed.

However, applying his principle of tiny improvements, I have reduced the quantity of consumption and eliminated the consequences of over-drinking.

Now, instead of 4/5 pegs, I consume 3 pegs. Next step is to reduce it to 2 pegs only, which, in fact, is good for health.

We can achieve anything in life, provided we apply the right tool and technique for the same.

Can we access internet without right tool, that is a device, and a technology/technique, that is internet browser?

NO.

The same applies to our life as well. We can not improve the quality of body, mind and soul, and finally the quality of living, without help from appropriate right facilatator of the same.

Can we break a stone by hand? No. But, we can do that with a hammer. Isn't it?

Can we break stone by hitting it once. No. We have to keep hitting it. Those every hit is a small attempt towards finally breaking it into many pieces. 

We may not notice the result of every hit on the surface of the stone, but every hit makes some tiny changes in the resistance of the rock and after many hits, one final hit breaks it into pieces.

That is the power of incorporating small efforts for achieving great improvements in life.

Yes, it is painful. It is agonizing. But, we don't conquer the summit of Everest without fighting against the fury of nature and unbearable pains while executing the process of climbing up.

Once you read The Atomic Habits and learn to apply its principles in your life, the way I am doing, I will suggest another book.

That book has taught me about the steps involved in achieving the impossible. I have already started applying the suggestions and getting good results.

So, for the time being, focus on digesting the wisdom offered by James Clear, apply to your life and prepare yourself for the next step - A Journey Toward Stupendous Success In Life.

Through out my life I had tried many a times to walk for an hour everyday. But I failed to continue with same. 

After reading Atomic Habits, I started with the concepts of incremental improvements - I walked for 10 minutes a few days. Then added 10 more minutes for next few days.....till I reach 1 hour. 

What appeared an impossible task has become so easy, as I could successfully made it a habit by repititions.

Even now, I don't walk an hour at a stretch. I do it in 3 instalments of 20 minutes.

However, very soon I would do it in one shot.

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Is Your Dream Brutally Assassinated?

Can we walk over brutally assassinated dreams of living a normal life?

Can we forgive destiny for snatching away our fundamental emotional rights?

Can we stop blaming others for not letting us live the life we deserve to live?

Can we own up the responsibility of our own life?

I think, we can. Even though, it is extremely difficult.

It is painful to admit that none but we ourselves are responsible for every situation being created in our lives.

None but we ourselves are the culprits for making our life miserable.

Because, we don't know how to handle our Ego for construction of the foundation of a good life.

Our Ego doesn't allow us to think impartially and arrive at a conclusive conclusion.

Ego tells us, we are right and others are wrong.

Ego misguides us, because Ego survives and thrives out of negativity most of the time.

However, there is a remote possibility of ruling over the conventional verdicts of Ego and take charge of our life.

And that can happen with an unconditional acceptance that we make our life through our choices and decisions.

We can't blame others for the choices we made and can't hold others accountable for our own decisions.

We must own up the consequences of wrong choices and bad decisions.

At the same time, we also should realise a simple fact that we don't control external influences on our life.

There is no point breaking our heads on what we don't control.

Rather, we must focus on what we do control.

In fact, we must concentrate on how we respond to our life situations.

Life is a battle-field of war between situations and responses.

If we respond positively, and with a never give up attitude, we would win the war.

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar

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You Are The God Yourself!

None boards a sinking ship in the journey of life, everyone bows down to the power of drive.

All Happiness lessons are fine in black and white print, but a warrior decides his destiny during a battle stint.

Walking the path of fire if you taste the blood of victory, you would always be remembered imortally through the history.

Decide to choose or choose to decide, where do you wish to reside?

Fading into the obscurity of nothingness after death, or being remembered as a winner before taking the final breath!

Put your best efforts into running the race of life again and again, never get tired or rest even if you kiss the limits of your pain.

Look into the mirror and tell yourself, come what may I would prove myself.

Most of us get motivated for a while only and remain ordinary in life, only a few cut through the challenges with the sharpness of a knife.

Look within and wake up the sleeping giant of action, to celebrate stupendous success in the limitless horizon.

You are the creator of your existence, purpose and its justification, you are the child of nothing but your imagination.

You are the God of your Destiny, you are the God of your life and you are the God himself or herself in yourself!

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar

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Time To Think And Act!

Do you really know, what you want to do in life? If you know, are you doing it? If not, why not?

Whatever may be your age, you must do what you want to do. You must start working on the same. 

Right now!

The reason is very simple: You don't want to regret over not doing what you wanted to do in life on your deathbed.

Do some introspection and find out first what you want to do in your life.

If you already know it, go and do it. If not, go and find out.

Humans lives are predominantly governed by the feelings of Pain and Pleasure.

Are you getting pleasure out of what you're doing. If yes, you are on the right track.

If you are getting pain out of what you're doing, you are on the wrong track.

You would never get pain out of of what you really want to do in life.

Don't give silly excuses of certain  compulsions or unavoidable circumstances for not doing what you love to do.

That's the limitation of your existing belief system. Replace it with a new belief system, and change landscape of your life.

Time to think and act!!!

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar

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Live Every Moment Of Your Life!

Driving on any highway, speeding past a continuous stream of vehicles moving in opposite direction, you never know about the next moment.

You never know, how would your future unfold the next moment.

you never know, if there would be a fatal collision or not the moment after this moment.

You never know, if you would live your moments in future.

That is how your life works. That is how my life works. That is how everybody's life works.

Every moment of our life is precious. 

Every moment of our life deserves our attention and focus. 

Every moment of our life defines what we become the next moment.

Don't waste the moments of life. 

Don't waste a single moment contributing nothing to your goal in life. 

Live every moment, moment by moment, to build a momentum toward a life full of joy and bliss.

The greatest and biggest problem in life is: We don't know, what we don't know! 

It's ok!

Know the moments of you life, respect them and live them at full potential.

That would govern the moments of success and accomplishments in your life.

Action must translate into results; otherwise, all that we talk is bullshit or horseshit.

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar

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Share Your Life Experiences To Make This World Better!

Sharing your life experiences with others, you're not doing any favour to them.

Sharing the stories of ups and downs in your life, you are not asking for anything in return.

Sharing the contents of your life, you are serving others in terms of letting them learn a few lessons.

One life is not enough to learn every lesson for living a life with true purpose and of great meaning.

That is why we read the life history of successful personalities from all domains of life.

We read, visualize and live in imagination their moments of epic struggle and hours of final triumph.

We learn invaluable lessons from their life experiences and apply those teachings into our own lives.

That is how, despite living only one life, we live many lives!

In that context, I request my readers to write down your life experiences as guest author and mail to me at abhijitkar62@gmail.com for posting on this blog. 

A small incident from your life, when you learned a lesson out of it, could enlightened many and, sometime, save life also.

Let us behave like servants, serving people within our circle of social media influence, and learn from each others life developments.

What could be a better way of giving it back to the society for making this world a better place to live in?

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar 

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Are You A Survivor Or A Warrior?

"The Devil whispered in my ear, 'You're not strong enough to withstand the storm.' Today I whispered in the Devil's ear, "I am the storm.'" -Unknown

I am not a professional Life Management Coach. I am not even a feather to any cap of excellence. I am a common person, who could come out of acute depression on his own without taking any external help. 

I did it by reprogramming my belief system with the help of knowledge I had gathered from reading 50 plus books and practicing the lessons learned. 

I did it by removing the weeds of negativity from the fertile soil of my subconscious mind and planting the seeds of positivity. 

I did it all alone, while fighting against the torture of destiny at the age of 56. I am 58 now, and ready to fight it out to reclaim my old glory and fame. 

No situation, no compulsion and no circumstance can force you bowing your head down, unless you yourself give up and decide to surrender. 

This post is addressed to those warriors of life, who are facing the extinction of hope. 

Don't lose hope. 

Endure the worst. 

Doing anything and everything to remain alive is your duty, responsibility and commitment to none but yourself. 

Life rewards those, who negotiate the pitch-dark tunnel of failure without losing hope for finding the way out through hard work and perseverance. 

Fight it out! 

Be a warrior!

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Would You Let Your Children Fly And Explore Life?

It's the evening of 31st of December 2020. The New Year 2021 is just a few hours away.

I am at home with my wife and Pet Cooper. Both the daughters have gone out to celebrate New Year with their friends.

This is first time in last few decades that so much silence is surrounding me with a message: Abhijit, you are the father of two grown up daughters.

Till last year, we had celebrated New Year together. This time also they wanted to do the same.

However, I told them to go ahead and enjoy partying with their friends.

Growing old and with children developing their own social circle, we must accept the reality of their independent lives.

They have full freedom to celebrate life, in their own way, with their friends, whenever they wish.

As parents we have taught our children to fly and explore life. Why should we feel lonely, when they do so?

In fact, we should be proud of them for developing and living so many good relationships.

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Can You Accept Criticism With Positive Mindset?

Normally we feel uncomfortable, while being criticized. In fact, we are unable to tolerate anyone criticizing us.

We never try to find out, whether there were genuine reasons for someone finding faults in our act and behavior.

Sometime they might be right and sometime wrong. However, we always consider criticism as an instrument to threaten our existence.

Surprisingly, there was a person who used to ask for criticism from others in order to find out his faults, take corrective action on them and improve the same.

His name is E.H. Little and he was working as Salesman for Soap Bars manufactured by Colgate.

When he had been consistently failing in his job, what he did is a lesson for most of us.

He went back to those people who had refused to buy soaps from him and asked them point blank - what was wrong in his approach, when he was trying to convince them.

He continued doing so, taking feedback and improving on his techniques and eventually became the president of the Colgate-Palmolive-Peet Soap Company—one of the world’s largest makers of soap.

In life, people will appreciate us and criticize as well. We must enjoy appreciation, but accept criticism as an opportunity to improve upon our weaknesses.

Let's develop a Positive Mindset and ask for unbiased, helpful and constructive criticism.

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Control What You Can! Leave Rest!

"This morning, remind yourself of what is in your control and what’s not in your control. Remind yourself to focus on the former and not the latter.

Before lunch, remind yourself that the only thing you truly possess is your ability to make choices (and to use reason and judgment when doing so). This is the only thing that can never be taken from you completely.

In the afternoon, remind yourself that aside from the choices you make, your fate is not entirely up to you. The world is spinning and we spin along with it—whichever direction, good or bad.

In the evening, remind yourself again how much is outside of your control and where your choices begin and end.

As you lie in bed, remember that sleep is a form of surrender and trust and how easily it comes. And prepare to start the whole cycle over again tomorrow."

~ "The Daily Stoic" by Ryan Holiday.

We waste so much time focusing on things not in our control, ignoring those we can control by making informed choices.

I did same, when COVID-19 brought my business to a grinding halt. I cursed fate for months, not realizing it was beyond my control.

Then I made a reasoned choice of reading books on a daily basis. The knowledge I gathered is now helping me improve my individuality and expand business while practicing the same.

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Can You Take Massive Action For Success In Life!

Life is all about intention and action. If both of them are positive and synchronized, none can prevent you from achieving success in life - whatever is the definition of success for you, depending upon your current life situation.

It's a classic combination of internal and external environment of life: Intention is a thought and action is the manifestation of that thought.

You can't just think and get whatever you want to achieve in life. You have to act on the same through an effective process. You have undertake a massive action.

One may have multiple goals in life at the same time, in different domains: Physical, Financial, Career, Spiritual etc. They may appear different, but are interconnected on the platform of Intention and Action.

Both Goal and Journey are equally important. You must first know, where do you want to go; then select the right transportation, and negotiate the most suitable road with best of your driving skills.

The most coined phrase that 'Life is a journey and Enjoy it' - is misleading in my opinion. I think, Life is a journey toward specific goals. Enjoy the journey, while being focused on the Goals. We can't ignore either.

What are your Goals in life and what actions you are unleashing? 

Image Credit: Madhurima Kar

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Be The Knowledge Leader!

While surfing through photos posted on social media, you will notice that the image of an individual is integrated with the back ground of expensive Cars, Golf Course, 7 Star Hotel Restaurant etc - an inherent desire in every human to show off that s/he is better placed than many.

This is called Brand Dependence. More expensive and royal the brands are in the perception of our society, more valuable we think ourselves are.

Our own identity is identified with and defined by the brands we are using and attached with.

Our own values and ethics are determined by the reputation of the brands we are in possession of or integrated with.

I wouldn't denounce this established norms and practice prevalent in modern human society.

In fact I would appreciate it, only if, while being associated with those great brands - we gather knowledge and work smart to establish ourselves as valuable brands in terms of learning and sharing knowledge with others.

I am not talking about typical Film Stars and conventional Political Leaders; I am talking about who contribute great creativity to the humanity in every domain of life: Knowledge Leaders.

Let us develop our knowledge and skills to such an extent that we don't require the assistance of any brand to enhance our own branding.

Be the knowledge leader!

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Why You Must Question Your Belief System!

A group of Scientists did an experiment once: They kept a few bananas hanging from the top of a cage and put a ladder leading to the same. On the roof, they installed a water sprayer.

Then they put 5 monkeys inside. Watching the bananas, monkeys started climbing the ladder. However, Scientists immediately released water from the spray on them. Getting wet, all the monkeys retreated.

Whenever monkeys tried going up, water was sprayed on them. After sometime, they stopped trying.

Scientists then replaced one of the monkeys with a new one. Looking at the banana, new monkey started climbing the ladder. 

No water was sprayed this time. But remaining 4 monkeys started bringing that monkey down and beat him up.

One by one, Scientists went on relacing all monkeys, and finally they had 5 new monkeys inside the cage who had no experience of water spraying from the top while attempting to climb up.

Strangely, none of these 5 monkeys made any attempt at going up the ladder, afraid of being beaten up by others. 

They only knew going up the ladder means torture by others, even though none of them had any idea why it was so.

In life, this is what happens when we blindly follow our belief system about many practices initiated long ago, never questioning the current relevance of the same.

PS: This is a story. May not be true. However, it makes a point.

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You Must Live Your Full Potential!

Life is like the production floor of a company. There are dozens of machines, representing various domains of our lives.

In those machines we are manufacturing the success in life. That definition of success keep on changing with our age and the situation.

It could be in physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, matrimonial, financial etc.

As a production manager, we do expect each machine to run in full capacity. 

As the incharge of our lives, we are supposed to live our full potential in every domain of life.

However, does it happen in reality? No, it doesn't. 

The reason is, first of all we are not aware of what is our full potential and secondly we never unleash the actions required to achieve the same.

Because we have been taught to be content and happy with whatever we have in our lives.

That belief system sabotages living our full potential. It doesn't allow the machines of life to run in full capacity.

We have to change our thought processes of being satisfied with whatever we have, evaluate our true potential and leave no stone unturned to live 100 percent of the same.

Well, practically speaking, it may not be possible to run all machines in full capacity.

However, with every attempt, we can definitely achieve some improvements and gradually move toward living a great life that would leave a legacy behind after our departure from this world.

People would remember us and tell others, what a life that person lived.

Success is all about living your full potential!

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Just Play The Game Of Life!

Walking along, with my Mother and elder brother, back home, from the prize distribution ceremony at School, was the most painful journey of my life.

My elder brother, scoring first, always, in overall grading, and also in individual subjects, was loaded with so many books as prize money.

I scored nothing! No load. Empty hand.

Returning home with mother wasn't an easy task with my brother down with the weight of so many books and I am up with nothing.

I felt bad then, but don't feel negative about the same anymore.

My brother had earned what he deserved. I had earned nothing, because I didn't deserve anything.

So simple is that.

Comparison begins there!

Competition begins here!

And it keeps manifestating in all forms in our lives with all the negative consequences.

Don't compete. Don't compare. Just play the game of life.

Go all out, beyond competition and comparison, to make it happen in your life in a big way.

P.S: I share my experiences to help the young generation understand what I didn't, when I was young.

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