Are You Capable of Controlling Your Anger?

Why people get so angry in normal condition also?

Just went out to a shop for getting some print out. Since there was a formatting involved, I requested him to do so and agreed to pay him for the same.

He got annoyed and started firing me, saying what do I think of him. Is he working for money.
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I kept on saying sorry for few minutes, even though I didn't say anything offensive. He continued for 4/5 minutes and finally calmed down.

Out of curiosity, I tried to find out what was wrong with him and came to know that there is an issue in his family for which he was frustrated.

We must have control over our emotions, in every situation, and I am thinking to suggest him the book "The Four Agreements" to learn how to control the same - the way I started doing after reading that book.

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Would You Let Your Children Fly And Explore Life?

It's the evening of 31st of December 2020. The New Year 2021 is just a few hours away.

I am at home with my wife and Pet Cooper. Both the daughters have gone out to celebrate New Year with their friends.

This is first time in last few decades that so much silence is surrounding me with a message: Abhijit, you are the father of two grown up daughters.

Till last year, we had celebrated New Year together. This time also they wanted to do the same.

However, I told them to go ahead and enjoy partying with their friends.

Growing old and with children developing their own social circle, we must accept the reality of their independent lives.

They have full freedom to celebrate life, in their own way, with their friends, whenever they wish.

As parents we have taught our children to fly and explore life. Why should we feel lonely, when they do so?

In fact, we should be proud of them for developing and living so many good relationships.

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Can You Accept Criticism With Positive Mindset?

Normally we feel uncomfortable, while being criticized. In fact, we are unable to tolerate anyone criticizing us.

We never try to find out, whether there were genuine reasons for someone finding faults in our act and behavior.

Sometime they might be right and sometime wrong. However, we always consider criticism as an instrument to threaten our existence.

Surprisingly, there was a person who used to ask for criticism from others in order to find out his faults, take corrective action on them and improve the same.

His name is E.H. Little and he was working as Salesman for Soap Bars manufactured by Colgate.

When he had been consistently failing in his job, what he did is a lesson for most of us.

He went back to those people who had refused to buy soaps from him and asked them point blank - what was wrong in his approach, when he was trying to convince them.

He continued doing so, taking feedback and improving on his techniques and eventually became the president of the Colgate-Palmolive-Peet Soap Company—one of the world’s largest makers of soap.

In life, people will appreciate us and criticize as well. We must enjoy appreciation, but accept criticism as an opportunity to improve upon our weaknesses.

Let's develop a Positive Mindset and ask for unbiased, helpful and constructive criticism.

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Control What You Can! Leave Rest!

"This morning, remind yourself of what is in your control and what’s not in your control. Remind yourself to focus on the former and not the latter.

Before lunch, remind yourself that the only thing you truly possess is your ability to make choices (and to use reason and judgment when doing so). This is the only thing that can never be taken from you completely.

In the afternoon, remind yourself that aside from the choices you make, your fate is not entirely up to you. The world is spinning and we spin along with it—whichever direction, good or bad.

In the evening, remind yourself again how much is outside of your control and where your choices begin and end.

As you lie in bed, remember that sleep is a form of surrender and trust and how easily it comes. And prepare to start the whole cycle over again tomorrow."

~ "The Daily Stoic" by Ryan Holiday.

We waste so much time focusing on things not in our control, ignoring those we can control by making informed choices.

I did same, when COVID-19 brought my business to a grinding halt. I cursed fate for months, not realizing it was beyond my control.

Then I made a reasoned choice of reading books on a daily basis. The knowledge I gathered is now helping me improve my individuality and expand business while practicing the same.

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10 Books I Have Recently Read!

Average person reads 1.5 books/year. Top CEOs read 50+ books a year.😇

Want to be a top CEO?

Then, start reading books!📚

To start with, read a book for an hour everyday. If you can eat and sleep everyday, why not read daily?

Let me suggest a few books for a short reading:

1. As A Man Thinketh
2. The Four Agreements
3. Who Moved My Cheese
4. What I Know For Sure
5. IKIGAI

If you have sufficient time for an exhaustive reading, let me suggest the following books:

1. The Goal
2. The Choice
3. Can't Hurt Me
4. Start With Why
5. So Good They Can't Ignore You

You may Google the tiles to find out details and download the books of your choice - free of cost - from www.pdfdrive.com.

For a pleasant reading experience, download the free app MoonReader+ from app store.

I have read all of them and learned so many life lessons from the same in the domain of Leadership, Relationship, Personal Development, Career Management, Thought Management, Happiness and Spirituality etc.

Following are the 10 advantages of reading books:

01. Mental Stimulation
02. Stress Reduction
03. Knowledge
04. Vocabulary Expansion
05. Memory Improvement
06. Stronger Analytical Thinking Skills
07. Improved Focus and Concentration
08. Better Writing Skills
09. Tranquility
10. Free Entertainment

#success

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Just Play The Game Of Life!

Walking along, with my Mother and elder brother, back home, from the prize distribution ceremony at School, was the most painful journey of my life.

My elder brother, scoring first, always, in overall grading, and also in individual subjects, was loaded with so many books as prize money.

I scored nothing! No load. Empty hand.

Returning home with mother wasn't an easy task with my brother down with the weight of so many books and I am up with nothing.

I felt bad then, but don't feel negative about the same anymore.

My brother had earned what he deserved. I had earned nothing, because I didn't deserve anything.

So simple is that.

Comparison begins there!

Competition begins here!

And it keeps manifestating in all forms in our lives with all the negative consequences.

Don't compete. Don't compare. Just play the game of life.

Go all out, beyond competition and comparison, to make it happen in your life in a big way.

P.S: I share my experiences to help the young generation understand what I didn't, when I was young.

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Are You A Genuine Friend?

Sandeep was an active participant in a WhatsApp group of few good friends. 

Most of the group members kept posting motivational articles and videos.

Often they would post their thoughts on living by high standard of human values, such as selfless living, helping others without expecting anything in return and being a friend in need etc.

So, out of curiosity, to check the authencity  of those excellent messages, Sandeep decided to do a reality check.

He sent a message to all of his friends, requesting them to remit him Rs 10,000. 

Only two of them replied in affirmative, asking for Sandeep's Bank details, some came up with various excuses, and the remaining never responded.

Later Sandeep told those two friends that the issue had been sorted out and he no longer required the money.

He had never shared the objective of doing this exercise with any one, till the time he did with me.

Sandeep was a stranger I had met in my favorite Pub few years ago and we became friendly over a period of time.

He used to share his life developments with me and took my suggestions for resolving various issues.

The purpose of writing this post is to convey a simple message: Live the proverb - A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed, if you're a genuine friend.

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Two Stories: Think, Before You Judge!

We are constantly judging people and situations based on whatever information we have gathered, thinking that we have sufficient knowledge about the same to come to a definite conclusion.

While doing so, often we ignore the fact that there could be a bigger picture in that regard which is still not known to us. And there we go wrong and, sometime, in a big way.

The consequence of false judgement, leading to wrong thoughts, feelings and actions could sometime be quite devastating. 

I think, we should never judge someone unless we know the wider perspective and look for information that we are not yet aware of.

That's is the only way to understand why someone is behaving the way they are doing and some situations are the way they are.

You may go through the following videos, highlighting two stories, to understand why you should take a pause and think twice before judging anyone or any situation on the face value.

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Miss You Mom, So Much!

 

Sitting alone, in the corner of my room, lights off, when I travel down the memory lane, remembering those precious moments I had spent with my mother, during childhood, even after, until her death, only one thought comes to my mind, where is she now?

They say, she is in heaven. Where is heaven? Can I go there once, hold her hand and tell her that I love her so much, miss her so much? 

Can I? 

I know I can't, but I wish I could. She doesn't exist in this world of mine anymore, even though she is always there in my memory.

Mother is the only person, who loves us unconditionally; mother is the only person, who protects us with her life and mother is the only person, who forgives us with a smiling face even if we hurt her.

In a world, full of vested interests driven people with nothing but personal gains above everything else, hounding us from all directions, only our mother is a shelter where we can take refuge for a while and gather enough strength for facing the challenges of our existence.

If your mother is alive, you are fortunate. Take care of her in all respect. Remember, you still have moments of opportunity to express your gratitude to her for bringing you into this world and leaving no stone unturned to make you a great soul.

 

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Story: The Power Of Positive Thinking!

A Shoe Manufacturing company, for expanding its business into a virgin territory, sent 2 of its Sales Representatives for market survey and further recommendations.

Both of them arrived there, conducted a detailed survey and found that none wears shoe in that place.

They went back to the Head Quarter and submitted reports to their Head-Marketing, along with suggestions for next course of action.

The first Sales Representative in his report says, since no one uses shoe in that territory there is no business opportunity exists.

The second Sales Representative in his report cites, since no one uses shoe in that territory there is a huge business opportunity.

Look, how different are the thought processes of two different personalities in the same situation: One is extremely negative, and the other is equally positive.

In life, what really matters is how positively we look at things even during the worst crisis and unleash a never ending string of powerful actions to convert every disastrous situation into a golden opportunity.

This story may appear very simple, but its practical implementation requires a major overhauling of belief system.

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True Story Of A Tortured Soul!

 

He was a hugely successful professional, who had built up a company from scratch and was running it efficiently for several years. Everything was picture perfect. With good growth generating huge profit, he was enjoying life like never before.

Then, suddenly, business started shrinking and, over a period of one year, he lost everything that he had earned and invested till that time. It happened, when the great recession of 2008 swallowed uncountable small businesses all over the world.

Cash flow came to a grinding halt, obviously destroying the business set up that he had established with so much love and care, and, finally, one fine morning, he found himself in a debt trap amounting to several millions Rupess with no source of income.

Desperate, about to give up, Sandip got in touch with me to help him find out what went wrong and also to explore if there is a possibility of getting out of that mess.

Subsequently, I had a few joint introspection sessions with him, going over the details of what had happened, analyzing why it happened and, finally, trying to find out the root cause of his unexpected destruction of professional life.

My findings were as mentioned below:

1. Riding the wave of success, he developed a thought process that he was invincible and success would continue kissing his feet, in this line of business, forever.

2. To expand further, he, instead of focusing on his core area of operations, shifted his attention to an unknown territory and burnt his fingers over a period of time.

3. Instead of balancing out between the existing field of operation and the new terrain of business, he neglected the former while pursuing the latter.

4. In his existing business, he happened to be heavily dependent on a few clients and never bothered to add more.

5. At the same time he was going through a major crisis in his personal life, distracting his attention needed to run business successfully.

All these above factors, added up, created an ideal platform for total collapse and landed him in a situation he could never think of.

While working out a rescue package for him, some of the suggestions that came to my mind were:

1. Look at success on daily basis and never lose momentum of growth for a minute even.

2. Expand your business, but mostly in one's core area of competence.

3. While handling a few different types of assignments, one must balance the time that's required to be invested in each.

4. Never keep all the eggs in one basket. Clients diversity is one of the most important factors that decides the fate of any business. Never be too dependent on a single client.

5. Develop sufficient mental strength to withstand the impact of relationship fall-out. Do your best to make things work out, but if that doesn't produce the desired results -either just move on, or compromise with no regret.

Although he didn't admit to me, but I could make out that the root cause of his downfall: Losing momentum, perhaps lied in his personal problems. So, at last, I told him to accept the reality of life and change his own thought processes to get aligned with what's unlikely to change.

I told him that there is no point in repenting over what had happened -- it makes no sense in wasting your time looking for a solution that doesn't exist. The most practical approach is to accept, live, and put in your best efforts for making a turn around out of whatever you already have in your life.

My concluding suggestion to him was: Sooner you realize, better it is, that, life doesn't give everything to everyone. Wise people accept this fact and live that reality, without wasting their mental energy on blaming others for their sufferings.
 
Almost on the verge of committing suicide when he had met me first, a year and half ago, today I find him cheerful and full of hopes for making the best out of whatever life has given him.

And yes, in professional life also, despite buried from the neck down in huge debts, he is completely focused on turning it around and with a determination that I haven't seen in him earlier. I'm sure, very soon he will make it happen again.

P.S: It's a decade old story. These days, I am not in touch with Sandip. 

Photo by Spencer Selover from Pexels

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Brain Interconnectedness!

The other day, while introspecting through my career achievements, in general, I suddenly remembered a professional with whom I had worked for a few years as his deputy . 

 

The company was not in good shape, making huge losses, and the owner paid hefty compensation to get the best available talent for reviving the lost glory.

Having worked with one of the largest system driven organizations of that time, for many years, I was suddenly at loss of enthusiasm and initiatives on the very first day. 

 

Although I was told about the background and also the current state of affairs, living with it even for few hours happened to be a different kind of experience. Only news worth mentioning was: My new boss would be joining the next day.

Well, he came; mingled freely with all of us; and in a few days became extremely popular. In less than 3 years he turned around the company from a blacklisted entity to a self certified vendor supplying precision engineering products to a galaxy of public and private sector organizations.

I followed him blindly, rather he made me follow him blindly – which I did not realize at that point of time – because his ability to inspire and motivate people was remarkable. 

 

Entire team worked round the clock, happily, embedding in mind a single objective of reviving the lost glory of the company in terms of reputation as well as profitability.

He successfully removed all other priorities of life from our mind, channelizing our strengths in one direction and, finally, achieving the objective. What made him such a good leader, is a million dollar question!

I think it’s his ‘Social Intelligence’ skills, exhibiting empathy and becoming attuned to our moods — literally integrating his own brain chemistry with that of ours, his followers. He actually removed the “Fear of Failure” from our mind. 

 

Apart from professional issues we could confide in him about personal matters also, taking his guidance time and again and in that process made him an integral part of our life.

It was a unique biological synchronization or Brain Inter-connectedness through which he guided us to develop a genuine interest in the purpose, fostering positive feelings in us.

Well, a recent discovery of mirror neurons in widely dispersed areas of human brain confirms above connectivity, that help us detect, consciously or subconsciously, someone else’s emotions through their actions and our mirror neurons reproducing those emotions. 

 

Collectively, these neurons create an instant sense of shared experience: Mirror image! Perhaps, because of those mirror neurons’ intervention we minutely observed and followed his actions moving seamlessly towards the goal — no longer his, but ours too.

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Would You Like To Be An Excellent Person!

 

The dictionary meaning of excellence is the quality of being outstanding or extremely good. So it's a talent that surpasses ordinary standards. Conventionally, it could be in a particular domain of expertise. Some body could be excellent as a singer; somebody could be an excellent actor; somebody could be an excellent communicator...

Here; however, we are talking about what makes someone an excellent person, who is extremely popular and liked by all within her/his sphere of influence and who people blindly trust with full confidence. I mean, someone completely dependable. There are people like that. I have come across quite a few in my own life.

They usually are a never ending source of positive energy. Being with them is a delightful experience in itself. while with them, people forget their pains and agonies. In their company, people lose count of time. They make others feel so important. In nutshell, they make others reach an amazing state of happiness and fulfillment.

What is the secret behind attaining this state of excellence in life? What makes them far superior to others? What makes them so desirable? What do they have that others don't. There must be something or quite a few things that they possess, not available in others. Yes, there are a few things that make them different.

In pursuit of finding out the answer to these questions, I decided to dig out from my memory every relevant experience I have had so far in that regard and do some research work by scanning through information available on internet. 

In my opinion, they don't do anything special but a few things naturally every day and consistently. These are:

Being Authentic - They express their thoughts, ideas and views as those actually are a part of their value system and character, without any fear of others' opinion.

Being Forgiving - They let go the thoughts and feelings of resentment and anger and the desire to seek vengeance and retribution towards those who hurt them, including their own-selves.

Being Ego-less - They don't inflate their self-importance and believe in putting themselves in other's shoes, while practicing gratitude as an affirmation of kindness and goodness in others.

Being Giver - They are others-focused in terms of extending unconditional help and support to others, focusing on adding values to their lives in terms of useful contributions.

Being Listener - They make every interaction a positive experience for others they are conversing with, intensely and openly discussing and focusing on the issues and differences. 

They do have many other qualities that make them stand out in the crowd, in terms of being a constant source of motivation and inspiration for others. That's why they are delightfully awarded the crown of excellence.

Image Credit: PEXELS

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How To Achieve Happiness Through ZERO Expectation!

Why, apparently wise people, who always talk about achieving an ego-less state of mind, are themselves more egoistic than the normal population? 

 

This thought came to mind when I noticed someone I know, supposed to be a torch bearer of this enlightened philosophy, succumbed to the evils of his demanding ego.

As there can never be day without night, there can never be a normal human without duality of decision and action. It’s absolutely normal and natural, in my opinion.

 

However, what matters most for living an accomplished life is to keep this difference between what we decide and what we practice as minimum as possible.

 

Being perfectly idealistic may be theoretically possible, but living in a complex and materialistic human society it is practically impossible to attain such a perfect and pure state of mind and soul. 

 

So the best thing one can do is to avoid the avoidable duality, and the right approach towards attaining that goal is enhanced by embracing the ‘Zero Expectation’ concept of life.

 

Robert Taibbi, a Happiness Expert, through an article in "Psychology Today" highlighting 5 Benefits of Having No Expectations, says:

 

"Buddhists talk about the “wanting mind” and the power of expectations to create suffering, and that’s certainly true when it comes to our relationships. Our disappointment, irritation, anger, and sadness most often arise because others didn’t respond to us in the way we imagined: I may have expected that my boss would compliment me on my monthly sales figures, that my wife would appreciate how well I cleaned up the kitchen. Rather than focusing on ourselves, we’re always looking ahead and at others. And that’s what gets us into emotional trouble."

Decide and act on giving as much as you can to people within your sphere of influence — but, without expecting anything in return.  No doubt, that’s where most of us fail. 

 

Numerous times I have done it and watched many doing it: “I did so much for them but they didn’t bother to reciprocate,” is perhaps the most popular complaint of entire humanity.

I agree that  every relationship is more or less performance based, and failing to live up to the expectation of others normally brings an end to most of the associations. 

 

However, my point is, you do your best to fulfill others’ expectations from you but never expect anything in return. Treat whatever you get back as a bonus, not as your rights.

More you reduce your expectation, less would be the need to practice duality, as your mind would be free of those confusions and doubts that force you to decide and act differently.  

 

Because, when you stop bothering about others’ reactions, you are left with nothing but improving your own selfless actions.

That’s why, people who practice the art of unleashing selfless actions, gradually move toward achieving an ego-less state of mind — with a minimum of duality of decision and action! Difficult to practice but not impossible, if you can tame your ego down

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Reduce your own expectation from others as much as you can; you would move a bit closer to living a duality-free life. And I’m sure, others, watching your act, would follow your path sooner or later, making this world a better place to live in.

The day you learn to live a self-less life with ‘Zero Expectation,’ happiness would launch a never-ending chase for you. Because, when you have nothing to expect, rather nothing to lose; standing on zero, everything you receive in life is always positive.

 

Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels

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How To Help Your Near And Dear Ones Suffering From Depression!

Recent suicides of so many Movie and TV stars have brought to notice an issue that is normally avoided by most of us in any kind of active discussion: Clinical Depression. 

According to an article published on "India Today," India is the most depressed country in the world.

"Here's a list of countries with the greatest burden of mental and behavioural disorders, in terms of most years of life lost due to disability or death adjusted for population size, according to WHO."

One of the World's most reputed Healthcare websites "WebMD," throwing some light on what Clinical Depression is, and analyzing different aspects of it, highlights.

"Most people feel sad or depressed at times. It’s a normal reaction to loss or life's struggles.But when intense sadness -- including feeling helpless, hopeless, and worthless -- lasts for many days to weeks and keeps you from living your life, it may be something more than sadness. You could have clinical depression -- a treatable medical condition."

Unfortunately, in our society, there is a social stigma attached to this mental disorder and people suffering from it are mostly in denial. I think, near and dear ones of such people must help those suffering from the same. According to "PsychCentral," one of the most reputed Psychology websites in the world, there are 11 ways to help a loved one in denial.

"What if your friend, mother, sibling, or father-in-law is severely depressed but refuses to recognize it?

Most of us have been there at least once in our life: the awkward spot where you know a loved one has a mood disorder or drinking problem, but is too stubborn to admit it and too proud to get help. You might see the consequence his behavior is having on his children, his job, or his marriage, but he is blissfully blind or is in too much pain to see the truth.

What can you do, short of taking the person by his shoulders, shaking him, while screaming, “Wake the hell up and see what you are doing?!?”

It’s very complicated.

Because people are different.

Mood disorders vary.

And families are as unique as the illnesses themselves."

But before we do that, we must have a clear understanding of the various aspects of this disorder in totality and for that, "Very Well Mind," a highly reputed Knowledge website, points out 7 facts everyone should know about depression.

"Depression is a very real and treatable illness. But myths, misunderstandings, and stigma continue to be barriers to treatment for many, and the consequences of untreated depression can be life-threatening. Understanding the facts about depression, on the other hand, can save lives. Here are seven things everyone should know about depression and depressive disorders." 

Now that we have a clear understanding of this disease, let us follow eight ways to actively fight depression, as spelt out by "Psychology Today," one of the best psychology websites in the globe.

"When you're depressed, it often feels like nothing in the world can make you feel better. Depression is a devious disorder, because the symptoms it creates can discourage you from completing the actions or seeking the help that would begin your recovery. Lack of energy, low self-esteem, and dwindling excitement are some of the symptoms that make it hard to get out of a depressed state. 

For anyone experiencing this stuckness, it's important to remember that depression is a very common and highly treatable disorder. By treating it like any other physical disease and taking the actions that will destroy the parasites infecting your mental state, you can conquer your depression. Here are eight steps to do just that."

Have you ever come across someone - within your circle of influence - suffering from depression? if so, what have you done to help them recover? Please, share your experience in the comment column.

Image credit: https://www.pexels.com/@lanophotography

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Success, At What Cost?

It was 2 O'clock in the morning and I was still in the factory, leading a team of a few dozen Engineers,  Supervisors and Workers to execute an order, which, if not completed in next couple of days, would attract a huge penalty, in addition to a distinct possibility of being blacklisted by one of the biggest customers of the company.

The factory, being located in a remote place, had an adjoining  full-fledged residential colony, and the top leadership including Managers and most of the Supervisors and Workers used to stay inside the premises.

Focusing on perhaps one of the most challenging assignments of my professional life, of restoring the lost reputation and glory of the company, for which I was picked up from one of the best and largest Indian Corporates Bajaj Auto, nothing really mattered to me than to make it happen at any cost.

Working for more than 18 hours a day - and for several months - to achieve the target, I, at some point in time, lost touch with the developments in my personal life.

My elder daughter was just a year old then, and was desperate to grab my attention like any child. But, I was never available to fulfill her expectation. It was an amazing commitment - or madness - to prove to whom I don't know, that I was competent enough to achieve an almost impossible target.

"Sir, your wife is looking for you," said one of my Engineers to me when I was checking a Release Note in the computer room.

"What, my wife? Are you sure?" I couldn't believe him.

"Yes Sir. She is crying and desperately looking for you." He continued.

Confused, why was she here, at this odd hour, I rushed out to the factory gate separating the colony.

There she was, in front of the gate, lying on the ground, with our a-year-old daughter crying and trying to wake her up.

No, she wasn't sleeping, but laid squirming on the ground with pain, the intensity of which had made her almost senseless. I knew what it was, because for last couple of weeks she had been complaining about it and the local doctor had advised us to go to Mumbai for a complete check up to find the reason behind.

Mumbai being a couple of hours journey from our place, would surely have consumed a whole day, might be more, for a detailed investigation. Unfortunately, I didn't have so much time to spare, even for my wife, because, I was so addicted to proving a point -- that I failed to realize, what really matters in life.

Somehow I managed to carry her back home, and her pain gradually subsided over a period of time. Thank God, nothing serious happened until I achieved my objective of completing the order in time.

Immediately after that, I mean achieving the target, management sanctioned me a huge loan for getting  the best available treatment for her and I proceeded on a month long leave. 

Well, I was given an out-of-turn promotion immediately after joining back a month and half later. And that was perhaps the best moment of my career up until then. 

However, today, while looking back and analyzing the gains and loses, I do realize that the quest for success in career can completely jeopardize our personal life, if we fail to strike a balance between the two.

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Educate Children To Treat Others With Dignity!

 

I almost cried. No, I actually cried: Listening to the conversation between a friend of mine and his 12 years old nephew -- his younger brother's son.

Accidentally deprived of oxygen flow, for a few minutes during his birth, he was born with a brain malfunction that severely affected his motor movement -- making him slightly limp during walk.

Simply speaking, despite having no physical deformity he is unable to stand erect and walk normally, because a part of his brain that controls his nervous system regulating leg movement got permanently damaged.

 

Recently, due to a family engagement he couldn't attend school for a few days, and my friend, while helping him complete home work, asked him to get relevant notes from one of his friends.

'I have no friends.' He replied!

'Don't joke, son,' said my friend. 'Tell me the name of your best friend.'

'Believe me, I'm not joking. I don't have any friend.'

'But why?'

'Because, I'm different than others.'

Unable to understand, my friend probed further.

'How come? What made you feel different?'

'Because, I can't walk like them. I'm physically challenged.' He explained like an adult. 'That's why none wants to be my friend.'

At that point my friend changed the course of discussion, leaving me wonder, how ruthless is this world -- including young generation.

Well, the purpose of this post is to highlight a dark shade of life that was still unknown to me until overhearing above conversion.

However, the next day I had a counseling session with him and did my best to make him realize that he is no different. I shall share the gist of my intense discussion with him through one of my future posts.

 

Well, there is a great guideline, in that respect, outlined in one the posts on Harvard Graduation School Website, providing 5 Tips For Cultivating Empathy In Children.

  

"Empathy is at the heart of what it means to be human. It’s a foundation for acting ethically, for good relationships of many kinds, for loving well, and for professional success. And it’s key to preventing bullying and many other forms of cruelty.Empathy begins with the capacity to take another perspective, to walk in another’s shoes. 

 But it is not just that capacity. Salespeople, politicians, actors and marketers are often very skilled at taking other perspectives but they may not care about others. Con men and torturers take other perspectives so they can exploit people’s weaknesses. Empathy includes valuing other perspectives and people. It’s about perspective-taking and compassion."

In the mean time, let me make  an appeal to all parents: Please, educate your children to treat others with dignity and empathy. Tell your children that they are lucky to be born normal. Make them realize that they must thank God for being normal, and teach them to stop laughing at others who're not as fortunate for no fault of theirs.

Parents may go through an excellent article written by Erin Leonar, in one of the World's most popular Psychology websites, Psychology Today, highlighting "The Secret To Teaching A Child Empathy."

  

"The goal is to raise a child who is conscientious. A child who truly cares about the way his or her actions impact others is, generally, a child with solid character.

Usually this type of child feels immediate and deep remorse after a mistake and works hard to make it right. A deep streak of empathy usually runs through this sort of child.

But what about the kids who lack these capabilities? Helping them acquire the capacity for empathy is critical because it is key in maintaining close and healthy relationships."

Let us teach our children to have empathy for others, including them who deserve it most, by educating them understand the importance of the same for living a healthy emotional life and achieving relationship excellence.

 

Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels

 

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Treat People With Compassion!

When we understand the simple fact that, our thoughts, feelings and actions are governed by the programs downloaded to our subconscious mind from the surrounding environment, predominantly during first 7 years of life, and those can be overwritten only by installing new programs through repetition and practicing the same, won't we look at others with a greater understanding of their own pains, agonies and sufferings and be empathetic toward them?

Isn't that great humanity all about? 

If so, why then we fail to dive deep into others' mind, try to understand why they behave the way they do and treat them with compassion?

I think, we must begin with people within our first sphere of influence: Core family, then apply it to the second sphere of influence: Friends and companions, and finally extend it to the 3rd and final sphere of influence: Entire humanity and all living species.

Only then, I truly believe, we shall live a purposeful and meaningful life. Obviously, that will lead to nothing but abundant happiness.

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

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How My Mother Motivated Me!

“Mom, don’t leave me alone, pl. I will get drowned.” I begged my Mother, who had taken me in the deep end of the swimming pool. Those days, I mean several decades ago, there used to be a pond like swimming pool in some of the houses. That day Mom had decided to commence the training session for imparting the skill of swimming to me.


Well, I was a bit reluctant in the beginning, but had no option. I had to give in as my Mother was very strict. After entering the pool, holding one of my hands, she took me to waist-deep water and asked me to try to float and swim. I did, but it didn’t work out. Every time I tried, I would get drowned and pulled out of deep water by Mom.


It continued for quite sometime. Suddenly, Mom held me by the straps of my pant and started swimming towards the center of the pool. I started screaming. “Mom, what are you doing?” I wasn’t able to speak much as the water was finding its way down my throat. Ignoring my screams she continued swimming and finally reached the mid of the pool along with me.


Then she looked at me and said “Son, now you are going to be on your own and must swim to remain afloat.” I couldn’t believe what she had said and pleaded with her, “Mom, pl don’t leave me. I will get drawn.” She replied, smiling, “No son, I have to leave you alone here. It is entirely on you now. You must try your best to learn swimming.”


I could barely utter a few lines, while trying my best to remain afloat, “What if I get drowned and die?” Swimming just a meter away from me, she replied, “No, you won’t die, I am here to save you. But, now, you have to learn it yourself as to how to swim.”

I did learn how to swim on that day itself and also learned a few important life lessons from my Mother at such an early age — I was 7/8 years old that time. They are: Without taking risk, we don’t progress in life. We ourselves have to fight our own battles, and if there is a will there is a way. 

Mom is no more. 

I miss her so much!

 Photo by Yan from Pexels
 

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How To Switch-over From Hard Work To Smart Work

I don't know a single person who hasn't asked herself/himself, at some point in time, about not getting enough return against her/his hard-work - both in professional life and in personal life.

We feel that we are putting in our best efforts to make it work, but the corresponding returns, in our opinion, are always much lower than our input.

Why it happens?

Obviously, something goes wrong that we have no clue about.

I think, the mismatch between our real effort and perceived effort in every domain of life is perhaps the main cause.

Can we do something to reduce the gap between the two?

Yes we can, by practicing the followings:

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